Vacillator ‘Love Style’ in Marriage Plus FMTM Linkup

Should I post on the Vacillator today, or not? Um, sure . . . I think I will! No, wait a minute . . . definitely not! Well . . . maybe I should! Just a little sarcasm to get this “love style” train chugging down or perhaps backing up along the proverbial track! My […]

No Sex, Please – We’re Jedi! Guest Post And FMTM

Today we’re diverting from our series to introduce a once-a-month publication on the sex issues and struggles we face in marriage with a guest post from a dear blogging friend, Andrew Budek-Schmeisser. Andrew shares vulnerably with us today about the relentless challenges that his PTSD has brought upon his marriage and marriage bed. I don’t […]

How does listening heal when working toward reconciliation?

I’m answering in the form of a video an MM reader’s question today on the issue of listening to his wife’s pain when coming to the reconciliation table. Unfortunately, the process of reconciliation can be tough, even brutal for both parties. But it’s sort of like surgery. Whenever we need it, we submit ourselves to […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]

How My Hubby Was There for Me in My Pain And FMTM

Today I want to share a post that brags just a bit about my husband—pointing out how he recently was there for me in my pain. To understand the significance of this lesson he’s learned in our marriage, you have to know where he’s come from in comparison to where he is now. Years ago, […]

How Chronic Illness Impacted My Marriage

Crossing the threshold in my husband’s arms on our wedding day might’ve been the first of many thresholds in our marriage, but the others haven’t always been as fun or whimsical—like when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. When I was only 30 I began to manifest the symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis, even though […]

Messy Marriage’s 6th Blog-iversary and Giveaway! FMTM

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been six years as of 10-10-16 that Messy Marriage has been chugging away out there in cyberspace. And I surely would’ve thought I’d be in a much more celebratory mood on this special occasion. But the past two and a half weeks have colored my emotions in a dark […]

How to Tell if it’s Peace OR Relief You’re Pursuing FMTM

One of the most important lessons I learned in marriage was figuring out the difference between peace and relief. They seem so similar—like kissing cousins. And in some ways they are related. But I’ve discovered in my 29 years of marriage that . . . When I pursue relief without pursuing God’s peace, I’m asking […]

3 Ways I’m Dealing with an Empty-Nest

I’m walking over an incredibly monumental transition or “threshold” in my life—that of being a full-fledged Empty Nester. Since that’s the case, I’ve felt like it might be good to do a series on the many “thresholds” we all go through in marriage and life. I will be alternating these posts with my videos that […]

Encourage Conversation with Disengaged Spouse FMTM

Even though my hubby’s more of an extrovert than I am, he still struggles to fully engage in a deep conversation with me. That’s because it’s easy for an extrovert to remain on the surface. Oh sure, they love to talk! They’re ever scanning a crowd for an opportunity to strike up a conversation, especially […]