Getting Your Spouse to Open Up! Video

Getting a reluctant mate to open up to you is about as easy as coaxing a cranky toddler to eat his peas. At least, that’s what I’ve discovered in my own life. And it’s also what I’ve heard from countless others, especially wives, in conversationless marriages. Today I’m answering another reader’s question in my “Questioning […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]

Are You Pushing or Encouraging Your Mate Spiritually?

Most of you know that I’m a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of pushing my hubby spiritually when it seems like he’s not pursuing God with the same intensity as I am. Of course, sometimes he feels that way about me too. 😉 We all go through seasons when our spiritual […]

The Best Marriage Book Ever

I love marriage books and have read my fair share of them over the years. They encourage me and challenge me in so many ways. They open my eyes and guide my choices into better directions. But the absolute BEST marriage book I’ve come across and continue to come back to is God’s word, the […]

How to Tell if it’s Peace OR Relief You’re Pursuing FMTM

One of the most important lessons I learned in marriage was figuring out the difference between peace and relief. They seem so similar—like kissing cousins. And in some ways they are related. But I’ve discovered in my 29 years of marriage that . . . When I pursue relief without pursuing God’s peace, I’m asking […]

3 Ways I’m Dealing with an Empty-Nest

I’m walking over an incredibly monumental transition or “threshold” in my life—that of being a full-fledged Empty Nester. Since that’s the case, I’ve felt like it might be good to do a series on the many “thresholds” we all go through in marriage and life. I will be alternating these posts with my videos that […]

Encourage Conversation with Disengaged Spouse FMTM

Even though my hubby’s more of an extrovert than I am, he still struggles to fully engage in a deep conversation with me. That’s because it’s easy for an extrovert to remain on the surface. Oh sure, they love to talk! They’re ever scanning a crowd for an opportunity to strike up a conversation, especially […]

Dealing with Emotional Blockage of PTSD in Marriage

Today I’m back behind the camera, picking up where Gary, my husband, and I left off last spring when we were answering some of the questions posed to us here at Messy Marriage, including one on PTSD. When a spouse suffers from PTSD due to combat or past traumas, it can cause extreme emotional fallout […]

Is Your Love for Your Mate Failing?

Persevering in life and in certain painful seasons of marriage can feel so very overwhelming and discouraging, especially when the pain lingers for an extended time. We can feel helpless and confused about what to do next. Even worse we can feel like we have nothing left to give, nor want to give—perhaps because we […]

Lessons on Love in Marriage

I’ve yet to attend a wedding where the 1 Corinthians 13 passage on “love” was not quoted by some well-meaning clergyman in a wedding. Unfortunately . . . The overuse of this passage has made these powerful truths ring hollow and cliché. 1 Cor. 13 Click To Tweet But if we scrutinize and take the […]