The Gift that Keeps on Forgiving

A couple of years ago, Gary (hubster) lent one of my books to a friend. After 24 years of marriage, our books live “commune-style”—what’s mine is Gary’s and what’s Gary’s is mine. I, however, don’t always like this arrangement, which brings me back to the “lent book situation.” Now, don’t get me wrong. Gary didn’t […]


Written by Stacey Micklevitz  Messy Marriage Team Member What comes to mind when you think of the word “surrender”? Do you imagine a war-torn white flag waving atop a weather-beaten stick? Or a prisoner, head hung in shame with hands shackled behind the back? What good comes from surrender? defines surrender this way: “to […]

The Fear of Forgiving

Last week I was privileged to attend the American Association of Christian Counselors convention in Nashville and my very first pre-conference track was with Everett Worthington Jr. He is Professor of Counseling Psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University as well as an author of several books on forgiveness; and he ended up being one of my […]

Minimizing Messes

In my last post, I talked about how I didn’t take my Poison Ivy seriously at first. I must confess, I have a tendency to do that—to minimize a problem. Unfortunately, I’m an anxious person—always have been. I could spiritually dissect that and tell you that my anxiety means I don’t have enough faith in […]

3 Attitudes that Lead to Trouble

On the last Friday of August, my husband and I decided to clear out some weeds in our yard. Unbeknownst to me, I picked up a batch of weeds “Poison Ivy,” hugging it ever so tenderly on the way to the yard waste bag. In the words of Julia Roberts, “Big mistake! BIG!” Until this […]

A Difference that Divides

Differences can divide us, making our marriages messy and full of pain … especially when those differences are spiritual or faith-based. God clearly reminds us that our faith can be a stumbling block to those who don’t believe (Rom. 9:31-33). And the Apostle Paul warns us against being “yoked together” with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14). […]

The Tale of Dena Dumb Dumb

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again—when we all brave the highways and byways in search of the family vacation. But along with vacations comes the need to travel unfamiliar territory, which certainly can have it’s ups and downs.  I know the feeling. A few years back, we borrowed a GPS device to take with […]

Drowning in Messy Feelings

One of the main reasons messy marriages get messy is because of messy feelings. When my husband, Gary, does something that hurts my feelings—I mean, really hurts my feelings—then my whole world can turn upside down in an instant. It’s like the man that I thought I loved, is now suddenly the man I can’t […]

A Small Tweak that Can Improve Your Marriage – Guaranteed!

About 30 days ago, I made a commitment with my husband to pray each day together. I have to admit that we didn’t quite make our goal. We probably missed about 5 or 6 times over the past month. But that actually turned out to be a good thing, because I noticed on the days […]

Caught in the Perfect Storm

Messes in marriage are very often like storms . . .  Let’s say that I’m feeling physically drained, but have a very long list of things I need to get done on a certain day. I may not have done anything “wrong” per se, but all the right ingredients are present to form a “cloud” […]