Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

Call it what it is—Adultery! And WW Linkup

I have a confession to make … I’m an adulterer. 🙁 Sadly, I have sins in my life that have moved from a one time offense, to a habit, to a compulsion, to an addiction. I mentioned some of those in my last post that you can read here. In fact, we all need to […]

When Addiction is Subtle And WW Linkup

Today I want to move forward in our “Resurrect Me” series on the addictions, compulsions and bad habits we ALL have in our lives by focusing on the next verse in our key passage (James 4:1-10), verse 3 … “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may […]

The Toxic Tango of Triggers And WW Linkup

Today I’m continuing to unpack more in our series about the wounds of our pasts by sharing another one of my triggers, as well as how that impacts and often serves to trigger my husband in a certain way. I’m sharing this because … We most often experience our triggers in the closeness and confinement […]

The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take […]

5 Signs of a ‘Grab-it Habit’

A lot of people, especially bloggers, choose one word or phrase to focus on for the year. I often do that, but don’t always talk about it. However, today I am briefly mentioning my one word—“release”—because it relates to a negative and persistent habit I’ve had in my life. Perhaps it is one you can […]

How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a […]

Resisting God because You Feel Pressured?

This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her spouse in this way often “reacts” rather than “responds” to this situation. The distinction is an important one. A “reaction” is letting […]

Super Mom Myth Review and Giveaway! Plus Linkup

I’m “super” excited to do a book review on my bloggy friend, Becky Kopitzke’s first book, The Super Mom Myth that launched recently. If you’ve never visited Becky’s blog, Time Out, you should do that immediately, if not sooner! With humble humor, Becky intertwines the challenges of motherhood with powerful and practical lessons that God […]

‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on […]