4 Ways Listening Draws My Mate to Me

My husband and I did not enter marriage as great listeners or with amazingly refined listening skills. We were young and really not all that aware of how important listening was to our marriage. I would go on in those early days of marriage to get my Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Counseling, where […]

How ‘Stranger Things’ is like the ‘Fine Art’ of Listening (& Linkup)

My husband and I have been watching the Netflix series “Stranger Things” lately, and I see a metaphor in that show that perfectly illustrates the “Fine Art” of listening. What is it? Well, let me lay some groundwork before I reveal that answer. There’s no hiding the fact that my husband and I have had some […]

Staying Together When Stress Pulls You Apart

Today we’re back with a video where my husband Gary and I discuss a reader’s question about the challenge of staying together when stress threatens to pull you apart. In our video, we share fourteen different principles and steps that we try to practice whenever the tensions in our lives begin to divide us. Click […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

How does listening heal when working toward reconciliation?

I’m answering in the form of a video an MM reader’s question today on the issue of listening to his wife’s pain when coming to the reconciliation table. Unfortunately, the process of reconciliation can be tough, even brutal for both parties. But it’s sort of like surgery. Whenever we need it, we submit ourselves to […]

Encourage Conversation with Disengaged Spouse FMTM

Even though my hubby’s more of an extrovert than I am, he still struggles to fully engage in a deep conversation with me. That’s because it’s easy for an extrovert to remain on the surface. Oh sure, they love to talk! They’re ever scanning a crowd for an opportunity to strike up a conversation, especially […]

Discussing Sticky Issues with Your Mate Without Getting Stuck

If you’re like me, you’ve often let your mouth fly wide open to reveal the manipulative and prideful intentions behind an effort “to discuss” a sticky issue. Ugh! You’re thinking that your words will bring clarity and understanding for your mate (cue the sound of angels singing from heaven). But all you really offered your […]

Validation Brings Healing And Linkup

There’s a common thread that flows through most triggers and the wounds of our pasts. That thread can be found in the extremes. We feel extreme pain or emotion whenever we’ve been triggered. Or We go to an extreme on a continuum—into parenting mode or child/teenager mode—when we’ve been triggered. If we can remain in […]

What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of […]

What Distorts and Damages Men’s Openness? And Linkup

I’m picking up where we left off from the “Men and Openness Survey” series by unpacking question number 4 from the survey … What outside sources have been hindrances to you opening up and sharing your feelings with your wife? (I let the men choose all that applied.) 55.56% – The poor example I saw […]