‘Tree of Lies’ Reveals Identity Struggles Giveaway/Linkup

Today I’m excited to have a guest post from Scott Perkins of Choose to Trust. Scott has been one of my favorite bloggers, especially regarding his expertise on identity. I hope you’ll check out his book and blog this week! And be sure to comment and thank him for his amazing insight and giveaway to […]

Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on […]

The Allure of the Illegitimate in Marriage

Today I’m continuing to unpack another way we can let our spouses control us with – “Choosing to have an affair or to look at pornography because you believe you’ve been deprived of ‘whatever’ in your marriage.” I have a sneaking suspicion that the spouses who need this message the most are not going to […]

10 Things You Won’t See Me Post on Facebook

The holidays can be a really depressing time for many people and hard on many marriages. Not only are issues related to grief heightened at holiday times, but the stress and expectations level is usually higher than any other time of year. But what I think makes matters worse is the impact of Facebook. Don’t […]

Lord, why aren’t You answering? SJT Video

I’m finally back today after much vacationing and celebrating of my son’s wedding—not to mention, technical/computer issues bogging me down—with yet another “Sloppy Joe Time.” Thanks so much for your patience with me in this! Today I’m delving into a sloppy expectation I had with God in regards to my husband and my painful, messy […]

Can you read my mind? Video

Today I’m laying out another sloppy expectation that revealed a heaping helping of my “magical thinking” and irrational idealism back in the day! At the time, I simply thought it was an effective way to communicate my frustration and get my husband to “hop to it!” This was something that I had seen my mother do, so […]

Desperate Marriage Myth #3 – Only Have 2 Options

The third myth in our Desperate Marriages series is – I have only two options, resigning myself to a life of misery or getting out of the marriage. This myth hangs on the coattails of last week’s post, Desperate Marriage Myth #2, People Cannot Change. Since you’ve determined that you and/or your spouse cannot change, […]

Livin’ on a Prayer – April’s "SYS"

April’s “Share Your Story” is by Becky BoernerAnd I, Beth, am also excited to announce that Becky is our Newest MM Team member! Can I get a Woot, Woot?!! *************** Do you recognize this face? He was “the man” in the 80’s—Bon Jovi! I remember listening to all of Bon Jovi’s songs with my very first […]

Consumed with Making My Spouse Perfect

Back some 25 years ago, I didn’t marry the man that I now call my husband. No, I haven’t gotten a divorce and remarried a different man. I simply married the man I believed would change to suit my preferences and ideals. In hindsight, I can clearly see that was the … Wrong Approach!    […]