Watch Out for the "Stupid Stage"

Last week my husband and I attended the AACC Marriage America conference in Orlando. Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and leader of one of the tracks I’d selected, discussed a concept that stood out for me. In Thomas’ class he outlined the seasons of marriage. The first of the marital seasons he aptly named, […]

Giving My Husband the "Royal Treatment"

I’ve shared this before—I’m a genealogy geek. And I’ve snagged some interesting findings that reveal a lot about me, my husband, and ironically, our relationship. Here’s some of what I’ve found … I have several very distant lines that lead to royalty in my family. I’m a descendant of dozens of knights of England, several […]

Marriage Mistake #10 – Believed Love was Only a Feeling

When I was first married I felt that my love for my husband was completely. I woke up thinking about him and didn’t stop until I laid down at night. But even then he invaded my sleep as my “dream guy!” I felt those sweet butterflies when he walked into the room. I swooned when […]

Marriage Mistake #9 – Forgive My Spouse Only If It Feels Right

You know the old saying, “To err is human and to forgive divine?” Well, that’s certainly been a truth that was lost on me for many years. In fact, I fell more into the “Oprah Camp” that said, “Listen to your heart or feelings.” But when I did this early on in my marriage, it […]

Marriage Mistake #8 – Let My Spouse’s Bad Behavior Control Mine

The Mistaken Game My husband and I have had a game that we carried from our childhood into our marriage. No, we don’t play “Ken and Barbie” into all hours of the night, nor do we hold “who can belch the loudest?” contests either! You see, it’s the age old game of “Tit for Tat.” […]

Marriage Mistake #7 – Refused to Admit My Fault

When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I really had a hard time seeing my wrong behavior as . . . wrong. Or maybe it was just that I couldn’t bear to admit to myself that I was weak. I’d say, probably a little bit of both.  Unfortunately, that meant that I rarely, […]

Marriage Mistake #6 – Turned to My Mom for Comfort

Early in my married life, I made a mistake that I feel is very common for many couples who find themselves in trouble. This is how it worked for me: My husband did something that I perceived to be wrong or hurtful. I turned to a parent, in my case, my mother to vent about […]

Marriage Mistake #5 – Negative Focus

Have you ever tried to tend a garden? If you don’t have the plastic weed barrier firmly in place, then you might as well resign yourself to a long-term battle with your finger on the trigger of Round-Up—aiming to kill.  In the same way that weeds can take over a flower garden, I allowed “weeds” […]

Marriage Mistake #4 – I Fought Fire with Fire

For years, my husband and I went ‘round and ‘round when it came to conflict. He would do something that would rattle my chain, and then all of a sudden he’d notice I was being extremely quiet. So he’d ask, “Is there something wrong, Beth?” I’d say, “No, I’m fine.” {Short for – “Feelings Inside […]

Marriage Mistake #3 – Avoided Conflict

I grew up in a family that didn’t really know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. Often my parents played opposite positions in times of conflict, but neither position brought resolution to the problem nor did it bring them together as a couple. They were living-out examples of the extremes in communication. My […]