The Gradual Slide to Disconnection

 It’s a bittersweet moment to watch your son move from being a college student to being a college grad. I’m so happy for him and his huge accomplishment, but there’s something inside of me that wants to go back to the days when he ran to my arms for comfort or believed everything I said […]

Avoiding the Slide to a Boring Marriage

Today we join, Marriage Monday, where we are exploring the many ways we keep our marriages fresh, never frozen. My husband Gary and I know that if we let it, our marriage can get a bit dry and boring. I think of it as a garden. You have to constantly tend to a garden—watering it, […]

Spark #4 – An Affirmation a Day …

I’m the first one to admit that my husband and I haven’t done this on a regular basis. But I can also tell you that my marriage has improved significantly when we’ve been committed to doing this. Allow me to back up a little. Years ago my husband and I read a book called, Intimacy […]

Love Goggles

Written by Stacey Micklevitz Messy Marriage Team Member Hollywood can be subtle. It has a way of making sex symbols look hotter and repeatedly renders husbands/fathers dopey at best. Either portrayal takes deliberate forethought, fancy camera work, and the right actor. Obviously, actors such as Matthew McConaughey and Jim Belushi are type-cast. Unaware, you might […]

6 Strategies for Avoiding an Affair


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Attractions, like the popular bumper sticker says, “… happen.“ But if we are wise, affairs don’t have to.   Here are six strategies that are helpful in avoiding the allure of an affair. Stay connected and engaged with your spouse. That means you need to make time to be with your spouse. You need to […]

Full-Serve vs. Self-Serve

I’m dating myself here, but I remember the days when there were two options to choose from when getting gas: Full-Serve and Self-Serve.  My mom always chose Full-Serve, and a friendly attendant would approach our car to offer a range of services including pumping gas, washing windshields, and checking the oil. Times have changed! Full-service […]

Spark #3 – Plan a Special Date

Just last week someone who read Wednesday’s post, “Romantic Nonsense” said to me, “I know you don’t like all that romantic stuff.” So I’m feeling the need to set the record straight . . . I am not against being romantic—I simply am against romantic nonsense! Romantic nonsense is finding your sense of worth from […]

Spark #2 Chemistry

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”   —Psalm 139:14 (NIV) I’ve never been great at science. I muddled my way through high school biology and never even took H.S. chemistry because it wasn’t required for college at the time. But even though […]

Spark #1 Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

In response to two recent comments, I want to address practical and/or romantic ways you can add a “spark” to your marriage. Since there are so many things that can reignite that spark, and since it often takes multiple efforts over time to rejuvenate a relationship, I don’t want to overwhelm you with a long […]