Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]

How Chronic Illness Impacted My Marriage

Crossing the threshold in my husband’s arms on our wedding day might’ve been the first of many thresholds in our marriage, but the others haven’t always been as fun or whimsical—like when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. When I was only 30 I began to manifest the symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis, even though […]

Are You Pushing or Encouraging Your Mate Spiritually?

Most of you know that I’m a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of pushing my hubby spiritually when it seems like he’s not pursuing God with the same intensity as I am. Of course, sometimes he feels that way about me too. 😉 We all go through seasons when our spiritual […]

The Best Marriage Book Ever

I love marriage books and have read my fair share of them over the years. They encourage me and challenge me in so many ways. They open my eyes and guide my choices into better directions. But the absolute BEST marriage book I’ve come across and continue to come back to is God’s word, the […]

Encourage Conversation with Disengaged Spouse FMTM

Even though my hubby’s more of an extrovert than I am, he still struggles to fully engage in a deep conversation with me. That’s because it’s easy for an extrovert to remain on the surface. Oh sure, they love to talk! They’re ever scanning a crowd for an opportunity to strike up a conversation, especially […]

Dealing with Emotional Blockage of PTSD in Marriage

Today I’m back behind the camera, picking up where Gary, my husband, and I left off last spring when we were answering some of the questions posed to us here at Messy Marriage, including one on PTSD. When a spouse suffers from PTSD due to combat or past traumas, it can cause extreme emotional fallout […]

From Messes to Messages Linkup

Even though I’m taking a short one-week vacation in the Wisconsin Dells and Chicagoland, I wanted to still offer the linkup while I’m away. I hope that any Christian bloggers will linkup below and I’ll be back to host next week for “From Messes to Messages” linkup. I also wanted to invite you to a […]

The Power of Pulling Away

I planned on sharing a post on how I’ve used reflection to gain perspective during or after a conflict, as well as a reflection tool today. But since I’ve had a week out of town at my in-laws, I’ve not had the time to prepare that post. 🙁 After all, I wanted to pull away […]

What I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup

Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house. But it was a doozy of a misunderstanding on both our parts. I won’t go into all […]

Purging Pride And Linkup is Back!

As many of you know, my hubby Gary and I have wanted to get our house ready to put on the market for quite sometime (we’re empty-nesters who desperately need to downsize). So I pulled away from “everything”—including blogging—for the month of June to get our house in shape for that big day that I […]