Feel like Giving Up on a Bad Marriage?

When you run a race, the hardest part is often when the finish line is almost in sight. After all, you’ll be celebrating just on the other side of that tape! But in the meantime—huff, puff!—it’s downright HARD pushing past that “end-of-marathon” exhaustion and pain. It’s the same way in life and marriage. Persevering through […]

What I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup

Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house. But it was a doozy of a misunderstanding on both our parts. I won’t go into all […]

My Failure to Control Myself And WW Linkup

I find it funny (or sad—you pick!) that, not only can I have trouble with being too controlling with my hubby, but I can go to the other extreme and not be controlling enough—of at least myself! [Tweet “My failure with control is contradictory! #whatsupwiththat? #controlfreak #outofcontrol”] I’m continuing the series—“My Failures, God’s Inroads”—with a […]

My Failures, God’s Inroads And WW Linkup!

I’ve been studying in 1st Samuel and God has been bringing to my attention all the times that people either wrongly let pride overtake them or rightly let humility be their response to circumstances. [Tweet “I honestly think God brings to our attention the very things we need! #Ineedhumility”] In fact, humility is one area […]

Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

How Grief and Humility Sets You Free And WW Linkup

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make […]

The Toxic Tango of Triggers And WW Linkup

Today I’m continuing to unpack more in our series about the wounds of our pasts by sharing another one of my triggers, as well as how that impacts and often serves to trigger my husband in a certain way. I’m sharing this because … [Tweet “We most often experience our triggers in the closeness and […]

The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take […]

5 Signs of a ‘Grab-it Habit’

A lot of people, especially bloggers, choose one word or phrase to focus on for the year. I often do that, but don’t always talk about it. However, today I am briefly mentioning my one word—“release”—because it relates to a negative and persistent habit I’ve had in my life. Perhaps it is one you can […]

How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a […]