Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

How Grief and Humility Sets You Free And WW Linkup

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make […]

The Toxic Tango of Triggers And WW Linkup

Today I’m continuing to unpack more in our series about the wounds of our pasts by sharing another one of my triggers, as well as how that impacts and often serves to trigger my husband in a certain way. I’m sharing this because … [Tweet “We most often experience our triggers in the closeness and […]

The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take […]

5 Signs of a ‘Grab-it Habit’

A lot of people, especially bloggers, choose one word or phrase to focus on for the year. I often do that, but don’t always talk about it. However, today I am briefly mentioning my one word—“release”—because it relates to a negative and persistent habit I’ve had in my life. Perhaps it is one you can […]

How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a […]

For the Wife Who Feels Empty in Marriage – Guest Post and Linkup!

Today we are honored to have our bloggy friend Ifeoma Samuel sharing a guest post and hosting Wedded Wednesday! I hope you’ll check out her blog – Purposeful and Meaningful as well as making her feel welcome with lots of comments below! Happily married to a loving man, blessed with a daughter—everything seemed to be […]

The Allure of the Illegitimate in Marriage

Today I’m continuing to unpack another way we can let our spouses control us with – “Choosing to have an affair or to look at pornography because you believe you’ve been deprived of ‘whatever’ in your marriage.” I have a sneaking suspicion that the spouses who need this message the most are not going to […]

Feel like a Victim in Marriage?

I’m back from a much-needed vacation to continue the series on how our spouses can control us. Today’s focus is about feeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage. Sometimes people who are in a hurtful marriage for a very long time and have tried to combat the issues for as long as they’ve been […]

10 Things You Won’t See Me Post on Facebook

The holidays can be a really depressing time for many people and hard on many marriages. Not only are issues related to grief heightened at holiday times, but the stress and expectations level is usually higher than any other time of year. But what I think makes matters worse is the impact of Facebook. Don’t […]