The ABC’s of How to Forgive a Spouse And Linkup

One of the gusty winds people often feel in marriage has to do with a heart growing cold out of a need to forgive a mate. I was there in that frigid place many years ago and still find myself tempted to return to that icy and unforgiving place whenever my husband hurts me. Because […]

Why the Habit of Studying the Bible Can Make Marriage Messier And Linkup

Back in the early days of my marriage—when it was at its messiest—I faithfully made time for God and His word. It seems like this sacred habit would’ve kept my marriage from sliding into a ditch, so to speak. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Therefore, it might seem counterintuitive for me to encourage you to […]

How Slowing Your Heart Transforms Your Marriage And Linkup

My life right now is as fast and busy as ever, being overloaded with a responsibility or two that I probably shouldn’t have taken on! I’m in desperate need of slowing my pace. How about you? 😉 Unfortunately, I’ve always had this tendency. In the South they have a saying about a gal like me […]

First Step to Get Your Heart Right in a Messy Marriage And Linkup

The continual mending of my messy marriage can be traced back to one foundational shift in my life that created a cascade of other important and healing choices. Ultimately this had everything to do with my heart in relation to God. So with that in mind, I’m going to begin a new series that will […]

Staying Together When Stress Pulls You Apart

Today we’re back with a video where my husband Gary and I discuss a reader’s question about the challenge of staying together when stress threatens to pull you apart. In our video, we share fourteen different principles and steps that we try to practice whenever the tensions in our lives begin to divide us. Click […]

4 Unique Ways to Pray for God’s Comfort in Marriage And Linkup

Today I’m continuing to unpack some of the ways that I pray and prayer journal that provides the comfort I long for when my marriage and/or life wounds me deeply. And though I’m talking mainly about prayer journaling, I’m also simply talking about ways to make our prayers more conducive to sensing God’s comfort in […]

Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]

The Controller Love Style And FMTM Linkup

With Thanksgiving in the U.S. a day away, it seems appropriate to discuss the many shades of a Controller “love style!” We wouldn’t be able to get through a true Thanksgiving meal or celebration without the “Control Freak” in somebody rising to the surface like a tasty batch of homemade rolls  . . . minus […]

How does listening heal when working toward reconciliation?

I’m answering in the form of a video an MM reader’s question today on the issue of listening to his wife’s pain when coming to the reconciliation table. Unfortunately, the process of reconciliation can be tough, even brutal for both parties. But it’s sort of like surgery. Whenever we need it, we submit ourselves to […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]