How can I cope? SJT Video on resistance to wounds

This follow up Sloppy Joe Time video continues to address what to do when your spouse resists looking at his/her wounds. Last week’s video unpacked the first two suggestions and today’s video gives two more vital steps in the effort to “cope.” The emphasis is on creating a safe zone for your wounded spouse to […]

Trying to unearth your spouse’s wounds? {SJT Video}

This week on Sloppy Joe Time I’m continuing the conversation about the emotional baggage we all have and how to deal with a spouse who is unwilling to “dig up” these old wounds. “Don’t you dare disturb them! They’re lying peacefully in their graves, thank you!” Unfortunately, wounds don’t simply remain confined to the depths […]

Why are you so upset? SJT Video

Today I am continuing where I left off from my last Sloppy Joe Time video by dealing with the wounds that are often present in the conflicts of our marriages and lives. We may not see them, but in this video I give some tips for identifying them as well as what to do and […]

Ignoring a problem in marriage? And WW Linkup!

If you don’t know this about me already, you must know that I am always looking at what the metaphor for life might be that God wants to teach me. The graphic above is a photo of the piece of glass that lodged downward into my left hand last Thursday. I was trying to get […]

‘Not Ever Quite Home – PTSD and Marriage’ Plus WW Link up!

Today we are honored to have Andrew Budek-Schmeisser of Blessed are the Pure of Heart as our guest to share a perspective that he’s uniquely qualified to offer. He knows first-hand the devastation that PTSD can cause in marriage, so I was thrilled when he agreed to share his wisdom and experience here with all of us […]

Myth 1 & 2 – Forgive and Feel Better?

Today we’re addressing two myths – If I forgive, I will immediately and automatically feel better. If I forgive, I won’t feel hurt or angry again, no matter how many times my offender reoffends. One of the biggest motivators for me to forgive is the promise of feeling better. So let me clear – I’m […]

The Pursuit of Perspective

We’re continuing in our forgiveness series today, moving from my last post, “How to Grieve Offenses” to examining our misperceptions and seeking the perspective that only Christ can bring. Bear in mind that we’re still dealing with expressing our hurt to God alone. The need to set boundaries with your offender is certainly necessary, but […]

How to Grieve Offenses

When someone offends, hurts or victimizes us, we experience loss and pain, and our emotions need God’s “good grief” to heal that wound. The reason it is “good grief” is because God meets us at our point of need. He brings comfort like only He can and begins the process of redeeming any harm done […]

The Impact of Illness on Marriage

Some of you may know that I’ve lived with a chronic illness, Rheumatoid Arthritis, for many years. I was diagnosed soon after the birth of my middle son, who’s 20 now! Yikes! It’s hard to believe it’s been that long! Thankfully, my RA is well-managed, even though it often limits me in some aspects of […]

Desperate Marriage Myth #1

Recently I conducted a survey here at Messy Marriage and I can tell from the responses that many of you are in desperate situations and don’t know what to do about your marriage. It’s important to recognize four myths identified by Gary Chapman in his book, Desperate Marriages that often surface in our thinking when […]