Giving Grace When it’s Hard and Goes Unnoticed

One of the hardest challenges of living out grace in my marriage has and continues to be extending grace (my “one word”) when it has gone unnoticed or does not get returned. I think that’s because positives can easily go under the radar for most everyone—especially and including by me! 😉 The negatives, the bad […]

Why You Should Avoid Being the ‘Best Version of Yourself’

Have you heard the catchy slogan—be the “best version of yourself”? Author and motivational speaker Mathew Kelly was the one who came up with this motto and message. His upbeat focus has even penetrated the Christian mainstream—being encouraged in churches and between believers in the day-to-day.  I also heard this mantra mentioned in the trailer for […]

How to Transform Discouraged Feelings into Firm Faith

There was a time when you might have accused me of being easily discouraged, rather than firm in my faith. And you would have been right in your estimation of me. Of course, I would have denied that you were really seeing into my heart or soul. I might have even defended my faithfulness by […]

How to Change Your Behavior so Your Marriage Can Improve (And Linkup)

Even though as a counselor I had to slog my way through lots of classes on Behavioral Psychology or Behavior Modification back in my old school days, I never really felt like behavior alone could create lasting or powerful change in marriage or relationships. However, that’s viewing things from the inside out, like Matthew 15:18 […]

Stage Two of Confronting a Spouse And Linkup!

In marriage, a lot of couples are able to work through at least a minor to moderate-level conflict without the help of a third or fourth party. 😉  In fact, there’s even advice from Scripture that says outside parties should steer clear of a conflict that is not their own! #dogbite “Interfering in someone else’s […]

How Long Should I Extend Grace in Marriage? And Linkup

I ended last week’s post in the series, The Many Faces of Grace, with this question: When is it unhealthy or “enabling” to overlook an insult or sin in my spouse (or other offender)? I think the questions to consider in this kind of situation are: Is it destructive to one or more relationships? (Creating […]

How Your Marriage Factors into Your Bible Study Habit And Linkup

Whenever we slow ourselves to be with God through daily prayer and Bible study, we will inevitably face distractions, discouragements and difficulties that can pull us away from this pursuit. It’s never easy to start and maintain a good habit, but so much harder when we start this very important sacred habit. So how do […]

How Slowing Your Heart Transforms Your Marriage And Linkup

My life right now is as fast and busy as ever, being overloaded with a responsibility or two that I probably shouldn’t have taken on! I’m in desperate need of slowing my pace. How about you? 😉 Unfortunately, I’ve always had this tendency. In the South they have a saying about a gal like me […]

Messy Marriage’s 6th Blog-iversary and Giveaway! FMTM

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been six years as of 10-10-16 that Messy Marriage has been chugging away out there in cyberspace. And I surely would’ve thought I’d be in a much more celebratory mood on this special occasion. But the past two and a half weeks have colored my emotions in a dark […]

Is Your Love for Your Mate Failing?

Persevering in life and in certain painful seasons of marriage can feel so very overwhelming and discouraging, especially when the pain lingers for an extended time. We can feel helpless and confused about what to do next. Even worse we can feel like we have nothing left to give, nor want to give—perhaps because we […]