Discussing Sticky Issues with Your Mate Without Getting Stuck

If you’re like me, you’ve often let your mouth fly wide open to reveal the manipulative and prideful intentions behind an effort “to discuss” a sticky issue. Ugh! You’re thinking that your words will bring clarity and understanding for your mate (cue the sound of angels singing from heaven). But all you really offered your […]

2 Dumb Myths about Fights in Marriage And Linkup!

There have been times when I’ve heard people make two “cringe-worthy” statements about conflict . . . a) My spouse and I never argue/fight or have conflicts. b) It’s always best to avoid conflict in marriage. Today I’m continuing my series on how to develop a “soft heart” in life and marriage that will debunk […]

The Power of Pulling Away

I planned on sharing a post on how I’ve used reflection to gain perspective during or after a conflict, as well as a reflection tool today. But since I’ve had a week out of town at my in-laws, I’ve not had the time to prepare that post. 🙁 After all, I wanted to pull away […]

What I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup

Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house. But it was a doozy of a misunderstanding on both our parts. I won’t go into all […]

Purging Pride And Linkup is Back!

As many of you know, my hubby Gary and I have wanted to get our house ready to put on the market for quite sometime (we’re empty-nesters who desperately need to downsize). So I pulled away from “everything”—including blogging—for the month of June to get our house in shape for that big day that I […]

When You Don’t Understand Your Marriage

Today, after a short vacation, I’m returning to my series on “persevering in the Lord.” This week I’m offering one more important way to persevere . . . We persevere in marriage by integrating God’s perspective into our lives. That’s because very often we don’t understand why we must face the pain and difficulty in […]

How Prayer Improved My Marriage

As you might already know, I’m beginning a new series on how we can “Persevere in the Lord” in our messy marriages and lives. Last week I shared how challenging our faulty thinking is one powerful way to persevere. You can read that post by clicking here. This week (and every week in this series) […]

My Failures, God’s Inroads And WW Linkup!

I’ve been studying in 1st Samuel and God has been bringing to my attention all the times that people either wrongly let pride overtake them or rightly let humility be their response to circumstances. I honestly think God brings to our attention the very things we need! #Ineedhumility Click To Tweet In fact, humility is […]

Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

Validation Brings Healing And Linkup

There’s a common thread that flows through most triggers and the wounds of our pasts. That thread can be found in the extremes. We feel extreme pain or emotion whenever we’ve been triggered. Or We go to an extreme on a continuum—into parenting mode or child/teenager mode—when we’ve been triggered. If we can remain in […]