One Attitude that Improves the Success of Your Marriage {and Linkup!}

I can see the opposite of “this attitude” coming toward me a mile away as a counselor and life-coach! That’s because it’s very easy to see in others, not so easy to identify in yourself. But allow me to ask one question that reveals the kind of attitude we need for success in marriage … Are you a “Giver” […]

Am I Your Soft Place to Fall? Video

Today, I’m sharing another video in our series of “sloppy expectations” in marriage. I explore the best way to respond to our spouses when we are confronted by how we’ve hurt them.     What thoughts typically run through your head when your spouse shares how you’ve hurt them?    What do you think could help you to look […]

4 Year Blogaversary, Giveaways and Linkup!

I can’t believe it’s been four years since I launched Messy Marriage way back in October of 2010. Since then, much has happened in my life and in the life of this blog, but one thing has remained constant … my personal pursuit of a surrendered heart to God. That’s because I know a surrendered […]

The Support Needed to Trust Again

Reconciliation is about rebuilding trust because … Trust cannot be given like love or forgiveness. Trust must be earned. Click To Tweet And trust is earned and established through respect and compliance with healthy boundaries and new ways of relating. So the first job for the two parties is to … Determine what you should […]

Are You Your Husband’s Helper or Hindrance?

I’m excited to share a guest post from my sweet friend Sheila, who blogs over at Longings End. Sheila is a regular at our Wedded Wednesday linkup and today she’s hosting, so I can have a much-needed break! {Isn’t she sweet?!} Sheila is the author of Heart Cry: 40 Reflections for a Woman’s Soul (2013) and has […]

How Comparing Can be Good

Many are choosing “one word” to focus on in the new year and I’ve been prayerfully searching for what God might want mine to be. Oddly enough, I feel Him drawing my focus over and over to the word “compare.” At first glance, compare didn’t seem like a very inspiring choice to me. After all, […]

What Does God Want to Give You in Your Losses?

As I face breast cancer, I’ve become extremely aware of the battle going on in my mind. When my focus is on the “loss” or “losses” I’m facing, I begin to feel, well, like a “loser.” But God has been so patient and kind with me and has gently reminded me that … He never […]

Where are You Broken?

Being willing to look at where you are broken can be a scary and intimidating task. But it can also be the key to unlocking your spouse’s heart and the marriage gridlock you’ve been facing. I know, because it wasn’t until I really took a serious look at my heart that I was able to […]

A Way to Measure Your Progress

The other day I was at Walmart. (Imagine a big, lumbersome sigh after that sentence!) I must confess it’s not my favorite place to shop—especially since our small town store is being turned into a supercenter. Yay, us! I won’t go into all that ticks me off when I’m inside the doors of the world’s […]

Feel Alone in Marriage or Life?

  I’ve been scouring over my journals from my very messy marriage years because I’m working on writing the book – Messy Marriage {Yay!}. And as I’ve done so, I’ve recalled how alone and alienated I often felt during those years {Not so Yay!}. In a messy marriage it’s easy to feel that you and […]