Stage Two of Confronting a Spouse And Linkup!

In marriage, a lot of couples are able to work through at least a minor to moderate-level conflict without the help of a third or fourth party. 😉  In fact, there’s even advice from Scripture that says outside parties should steer clear of a conflict that is not their own! #dogbite “Interfering in someone else’s […]

How Long Should I Extend Grace in Marriage? And Linkup

I ended last week’s post in the series, The Many Faces of Grace, with this question: When is it unhealthy or “enabling” to overlook an insult or sin in my spouse (or other offender)? I think the questions to consider in this kind of situation are: Is it destructive to one or more relationships? (Creating […]

How to Connect with God Daily And Linkup

With all the knowledge I’ve gleaned and used over the years as a marriage counselor and life-coach, none of that really made as big of a difference in my marriage as connecting daily with God. But the biggest challenge for most people seems to be establishing that sacred habit. So today I will be sharing […]

Make Dating a Priority with Simple Date Idea #1

Sometimes we can let our lives become more crowded and busy than we should with kids to shuttle here and responsibilities to do there, eventually putting the priority of dating our mates on the back burner. Then we wonder why our marriage feels so lifeless and our spouse seems distant and uncaring. If there’s one […]

When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

‘Tree of Lies’ Reveals Identity Struggles Giveaway/Linkup

Today I’m excited to have a guest post from Scott Perkins of Choose to Trust. Scott has been one of my favorite bloggers, especially regarding his expertise on identity. I hope you’ll check out his book and blog this week! And be sure to comment and thank him for his amazing insight and giveaway to […]

2 Dumb Myths about Fights in Marriage And Linkup!

There have been times when I’ve heard people make two “cringe-worthy” statements about conflict . . . a) My spouse and I never argue/fight or have conflicts. b) It’s always best to avoid conflict in marriage. Today I’m continuing my series on how to develop a “soft heart” in life and marriage that will debunk […]

How Prayer Improved My Marriage

As you might already know, I’m beginning a new series on how we can “Persevere in the Lord” in our messy marriages and lives. Last week I shared how challenging our faulty thinking is one powerful way to persevere. You can read that post by clicking here. This week (and every week in this series) […]

Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

What Men Say Motivates in Marriage And WW Linkup!

I’m back from Christmas vacation and I have to tell you, it’s been hard to get back into the swing of blogging again. Not that I don’t enjoy it, but currently I feel a bit burned out by it all, since my life at the moment has less margin than I would like for it […]