3 Ways to Deal with a Recurring Conflict

AlicePopkorn Ever had an issue like one of my hubby’s favorite movies, Groundhog Day? If you’re not familiar, Bill Murray plays a weather reporter who keeps waking up to the same frustrating Groundhog Day over and over again. Sometimes a particular issue in marriage is like that. No matter how hard you try to work […]

Are You Motivating or Manipulating Your Spouse?

Isn’t it always easier to see what our spouse needs to do than what we need to do?  I can easily get caught up in this problem, since I’m also a counselor and life-coach. I can diagnose an unhealthy attitude or action, and step in with my “trusty counselor’s voice” to bring my husband down […]

Consumed with Life = No Margin

There’s this scary idea that what’s most important about our lives will be captured by a “dash” on our tombstone … he/she was born in 1960/70/80 something, followed by the dash before the date of death. The real dilemma is, we all want to make our “dash” count, right? Photo by Jo Naylor But the […]

Are You Too Close to Your Spouse?

What? Did I read that right? Can I really be too close to my spouse? Maybe that’s what you were thinking when you read my title. You might’ve also wondered … What kind of marriage blog is this, anyway? The author doesn’t even want us to get close to our spouses! I’m outta here! But […]

Learning the Hard Way

If you are in a messy marriage, you may feel like, “When are things going to get easier?” Maybe you’ve gone to counseling, you’ve prayed and prayed for your marriage, you’ve worked on communicating better with your spouse, you’ve read marriage book after marriage book, and next to nothing ever happens or changes for the […]

The Secret to Contentment

I remember the realization like it was yesterday. My husband and I were emerging out of a long, difficult period into a promising new venture. I was walking high and so excited for what this adventure might bring our way. I was determined and hopeful that this new pathway was going to usher in our […]

10 Reasons "Why There’s No Such Thing as a Soul-Mate"

photo credit by stevendepolo (Flickr) If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I fiercely and regularly attempt to debunk the whole soul-mate mythology that’s so rampant in our society. So, to drive home my thoughts even more, I’ve decided to share 10 reasons why I think it’s simply a […]

“Engagement” with the Real Problem

Today we are joining Marriage Monday to discuss engagement.   When my husband, then boyfriend, Gary was a teen, a very smart, protective youth pastor told Gary never to tell a girl he loved her until he was ready to marry her. I completely understand this man’s reasoning. I know that there are way too […]

Keep the Change!

Written by Stacey Micklevitz Messy Marriage Team Member How often do we hear friends lament that their spouses “have changed?” Such a complaint is common among those who are unhappy in their marriages or are heading toward divorce. The comment is often accompanied by “He/she is just not the same person he/she was when we […]

Not What I Expected …

Written by Kimberly Green Messy Marriage Team Member … Or even what I thought I wanted.  My parents divorce in my adolescence had left scars, but had also given me a wonderful gift—the gift of KNOWING their model was broken. My mother playing the perpetual victim and my father continually looking for her to validate […]