How Satan Attacks Marriage Using This Tempting Direction (Linkup)

I thought it appropriate to start a new series on the attacks of Satan on marriage during a month that is traditionally associated with spooks, spirits and scary things. I know of many—Christ-followers included—who never consider the relevance or real threat that Satan and his demons pose against our marriages. I want to state for […]

Increase Good Chemistry of Love in Marriage (And Linkup)

I’m continuing to unpack another lesson in my “Back to School” series by discussing today how I gained back the “chemistry” or feelings of love that had cooled when my marriage was at its messiest. I learned the hard way that what I do drastically impacts the way I feel in my marriage. Let me […]

The ABC’s of How to Forgive a Spouse And Linkup

One of the gusty winds people often feel in marriage has to do with a heart growing cold out of a need to forgive a mate. I was there in that frigid place many years ago and still find myself tempted to return to that icy and unforgiving place whenever my husband hurts me. Because […]

‘Writing’ Prayers—Gaining Perspective in Marriage And Linkup

I’m continuing in my series: “Back to School—7 Lessons on Learning to Love Well When the Winds of Marriage Grow Colder”—by talking today about lesson #2 on “Writing.” Be advised: this isn’t just writing for the sake of improving our penmanship or literary skills. It is all about a valuable marriage tool available to us […]

How Long Should I Extend Grace in Marriage? And Linkup

I ended last week’s post in the series, The Many Faces of Grace, with this question: When is it unhealthy or “enabling” to overlook an insult or sin in my spouse (or other offender)? I think the questions to consider in this kind of situation are: Is it destructive to one or more relationships? (Creating […]

What Extending Grace Looks like in Marriage – Plus Linkup

One of the things that has often confounded me is, when do I extend grace? Is it all the time? And what does grace even look like, especially in marriage? I think of grace like forgiveness—letting something go. After all, the Lord certainly has let go of the need to punish me for my sin—dying […]

When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

How does listening heal when working toward reconciliation?

I’m answering in the form of a video an MM reader’s question today on the issue of listening to his wife’s pain when coming to the reconciliation table. Unfortunately, the process of reconciliation can be tough, even brutal for both parties. But it’s sort of like surgery. Whenever we need it, we submit ourselves to […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]

Is Your Love for Your Mate Failing?

Persevering in life and in certain painful seasons of marriage can feel so very overwhelming and discouraging, especially when the pain lingers for an extended time. We can feel helpless and confused about what to do next. Even worse we can feel like we have nothing left to give, nor want to give—perhaps because we […]