Avoiding Cutting Corners – Worthy Study

Today I’m sharing one of my “Worthy” Bible study notes, so you’ve got an example of what you’ll get if you join my private Facebook group. Takes me less than 5 minutes to read any of my notes and you can also learn from my notes to do the digging on your own as well. […]

How to Find Hope with a Perfectionist Spouse

Have you ever felt like your spouse is a perfectionist? Maybe a little too critical and “problem-solving” in moments where you’d like to simply be heard, cheered on or comforted? [Tweet “Well, I’ve been there (with my mate) and I’ve done that (to my mate). #perfectionisticmate”] One of the double-edge gifts that God has given […]

2 Dumb Myths about Fights in Marriage And Linkup!

There have been times when I’ve heard people make two “cringe-worthy” statements about conflict . . . a) My spouse and I never argue/fight or have conflicts. b) It’s always best to avoid conflict in marriage. Today I’m continuing my series on how to develop a “soft heart” in life and marriage that will debunk […]

What I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup

Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house. But it was a doozy of a misunderstanding on both our parts. I won’t go into all […]

Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

How Grief and Humility Sets You Free And WW Linkup

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make […]

Taming Triggers in Your Marriage and Life Plus WW Linkup

You’d think that after almost 29 years of marriage, my hubby and I would have tamed all of the “beasts” that arise from the moments when our wounds are triggered … but you would be wrong! 😉 I think it’s sort of like the apostle Paul’s “thorn” that God did not remove from his life […]

My Husband’s View on Spiritual Leadership

I’m excited to add a new installment to my “Pick Hubby’s Brain” video series this week. We’ve had some camera issues (and quite frankly, are still having some issues to iron out) but am happy to offer some food for thought from my wise and witty hubby on the sticky subject of spiritual leadership. I […]

How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a […]

Resisting God because You Feel Pressured?

This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her spouse in this way often “reacts” rather than “responds” to this situation. The distinction is an important one. A “reaction” is letting […]