When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

How does listening heal when working toward reconciliation?

I’m answering in the form of a video an MM reader’s question today on the issue of listening to his wife’s pain when coming to the reconciliation table. Unfortunately, the process of reconciliation can be tough, even brutal for both parties. But it’s sort of like surgery. Whenever we need it, we submit ourselves to […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]

How to Find Hope with a Perfectionist Spouse

Have you ever felt like your spouse is a perfectionist? Maybe a little too critical and “problem-solving” in moments where you’d like to simply be heard, cheered on or comforted? Well, I’ve been there (with my mate) and I’ve done that (to my mate). #perfectionisticmate Click To Tweet One of the double-edge gifts that God […]

4 Tempting Reasons We Fill the Gap And Linkup!

After reading some of the comments from my last post on the bad habit of “filling the gap” or assuming what we think our spouse or others feel/think, I realized that a “map” of sorts would be helpful (thanks to the insights from bloggers Patrick and Andrew). This map identifies some of the landmarks or […]

Lessons on Love in Marriage

I’ve yet to attend a wedding where the 1 Corinthians 13 passage on “love” was not quoted by some well-meaning clergyman in a wedding. Unfortunately . . . The overuse of this passage has made these powerful truths ring hollow and cliché. 1 Cor. 13 Click To Tweet But if we scrutinize and take the […]

Going for the Gold in Marriage?

The reason I was going through the driest, darkest and most discouraging time(s) in my marriage was because I was not doing something very crucial. Although I knew about this crucial focus, and in many ways completely believed that it was important and true, I did not let it consistently guide my thoughts, feelings and […]

2 Dumb Myths about Fights in Marriage And Linkup!

There have been times when I’ve heard people make two “cringe-worthy” statements about conflict . . . a) My spouse and I never argue/fight or have conflicts. b) It’s always best to avoid conflict in marriage. Today I’m continuing my series on how to develop a “soft heart” in life and marriage that will debunk […]

What I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup

Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house. But it was a doozy of a misunderstanding on both our parts. I won’t go into all […]

How Grief Softens the Heart And Linkup

When I set about to organize, clean and prepare my house for market last month, I didn’t realize how this process of purging would hit so close to home . . . as in my heart. One of the monumental moments happened when my hubby took a couple of days to get away and prepare […]