Video ‘Confessions of a Messy Mrs.’ on Pride

I’m excited to get back to vlogging with a new series that includes confessions from nine different “wives’” on how pride made their marriages messy or at least messier. Don’t worry all of you “Misters” out there! I will get to you next time with my sidekick and partner in life, Gary, who will be our […]

‘Writing’ Prayers—Gaining Perspective in Marriage And Linkup

I’m continuing in my series: “Back to School—7 Lessons on Learning to Love Well When the Winds of Marriage Grow Colder”—by talking today about lesson #2 on “Writing.” Be advised: this isn’t just writing for the sake of improving our penmanship or literary skills. It is all about a valuable marriage tool available to us […]

Back to School—’Reading’ the Best Marriage Manual

I’m starting a new series called, “Back to School—7 Lessons on Learning to Love Well When the Winds of Marriage Grow Colder.” And what would school be without a good dose of “Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic”? So my first lesson involves “reading” . . . Reading the Bible, that is. There are so many great […]

Are You Making Your Spouse Your savior?

I had a very messy marriage back in the day, and this was directly related to an even messier view of my identity. My lagging sense of self worth set me up for pursuing my husband as my savior, instead of pursuing my Savior as my Savior. Oh sure, I’d received Christ as my Savior […]

No More Perfect Marriages Book Review, Giveaway and Linkup

I’m excited to be reviewing Mark and Jill Savage’s new marriage book, No More Perfect Marriages, and giving away one copy to one randomly chosen person who comments on this post. Jill is the founder of Hearts at Home ministry and has authored and coauthored five books—two of which were with her husband Mark. This […]

One Key Way Prayer Journaling Uncovers Denial And Linkup

I never dreamed many years ago that prayer journaling would open up a whole new world of insight for me like I’d never experienced before in my prayer life. I must preface that by saying God opened up new insights as I combined my prayer journaling with my Bible studies and readings. We should always […]

5 Differences between Journaling and Prayer Journaling Plus Linkup

Last week I began a mini-series on prayer journaling that naturally sparked some conversation about journaling in the comments. Though journaling and prayer journaling are synonyms, I wanted to write a post about the differences I see between these two helpful practices. So I hope you’ll indulge me for a bit of a “rabbit trail” […]

Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]

When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]