Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

How to Replace an Addiction or Bad Habit And WW Linkup

Today we are continuing the “Resurrect Me” series by delving into what it means to surrender and replace our addictions and habitual sins. I’ve been using a passage in James as our roadmap throughout this series. So let’s look at what’s next . . . “Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he […]

Call it what it is—Adultery! And WW Linkup

I have a confession to make … I’m an adulterer. 🙁 Sadly, I have sins in my life that have moved from a one time offense, to a habit, to a compulsion, to an addiction. I mentioned some of those in my last post that you can read here. In fact, we all need to […]

When Addiction is Subtle And WW Linkup

Today I want to move forward in our “Resurrect Me” series on the addictions, compulsions and bad habits we ALL have in our lives by focusing on the next verse in our key passage (James 4:1-10), verse 3 … “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may […]

Validation Brings Healing And Linkup

There’s a common thread that flows through most triggers and the wounds of our pasts. That thread can be found in the extremes. We feel extreme pain or emotion whenever we’ve been triggered. Or We go to an extreme on a continuum—into parenting mode or child/teenager mode—when we’ve been triggered. If we can remain in […]

Finding Healing for Your Wounds And Linkup

Today I’m continuing the series on the wounds of our past by focusing on how to bring healing to those wounds through a new spiritual and relational focus. This means delving a bit deeper into what must be done in tandem with any ongoing prayer/processing of wounds (that I’ve shared in past posts). I believe […]

The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take […]

Resisting God because You Feel Pressured?

This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her spouse in this way often “reacts” rather than “responds” to this situation. The distinction is an important one. A “reaction” is letting […]

‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on […]

For the Wife Who Feels Empty in Marriage – Guest Post and Linkup!

Today we are honored to have our bloggy friend Ifeoma Samuel sharing a guest post and hosting Wedded Wednesday! I hope you’ll check out her blog – Purposeful and Meaningful as well as making her feel welcome with lots of comments below! Happily married to a loving man, blessed with a daughter—everything seemed to be […]