Getting Your Spouse to Open Up! Video

Getting a reluctant mate to open up to you is about as easy as coaxing a cranky toddler to eat his peas. At least, that’s what I’ve discovered in my own life. And it’s also what I’ve heard from countless others, especially wives, in conversationless marriages. Today I’m answering another reader’s question in my “Questioning […]

Vacillator ‘Love Style’ in Marriage Plus FMTM Linkup

Should I post on the Vacillator today, or not? Um, sure . . . I think I will! No, wait a minute . . . definitely not! Well . . . maybe I should! Just a little sarcasm to get this “love style” train chugging down or perhaps backing up along the proverbial track! My […]

No Sex, Please – We’re Jedi! Guest Post And FMTM

Today we’re diverting from our series to introduce a once-a-month publication on the sex issues and struggles we face in marriage with a guest post from a dear blogging friend, Andrew Budek-Schmeisser. Andrew shares vulnerably with us today about the relentless challenges that his PTSD has brought upon his marriage and marriage bed. I don’t […]

When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]

Messy Marriage’s 6th Blog-iversary and Giveaway! FMTM

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been six years as of 10-10-16 that Messy Marriage has been chugging away out there in cyberspace. And I surely would’ve thought I’d be in a much more celebratory mood on this special occasion. But the past two and a half weeks have colored my emotions in a dark […]

Are You Pushing or Encouraging Your Mate Spiritually?

Most of you know that I’m a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of pushing my hubby spiritually when it seems like he’s not pursuing God with the same intensity as I am. Of course, sometimes he feels that way about me too. 😉 We all go through seasons when our spiritual […]

3 Ways I’m Dealing with an Empty-Nest

I’m walking over an incredibly monumental transition or “threshold” in my life—that of being a full-fledged Empty Nester. Since that’s the case, I’ve felt like it might be good to do a series on the many “thresholds” we all go through in marriage and life. I will be alternating these posts with my videos that […]

How to Find Hope with a Perfectionist Spouse

Have you ever felt like your spouse is a perfectionist? Maybe a little too critical and “problem-solving” in moments where you’d like to simply be heard, cheered on or comforted? Well, I’ve been there (with my mate) and I’ve done that (to my mate). #perfectionisticmate Click To Tweet One of the double-edge gifts that God […]

Lessons on Love in Marriage

I’ve yet to attend a wedding where the 1 Corinthians 13 passage on “love” was not quoted by some well-meaning clergyman in a wedding. Unfortunately . . . The overuse of this passage has made these powerful truths ring hollow and cliché. 1 Cor. 13 Click To Tweet But if we scrutinize and take the […]