Plank Hunting – Shoot Down Your Excuses And WW Linkup

When I was about 11 years old, my mother did not ask me to help with getting the table set or cleaning up after a meal. I remember feeling guilty whenever I saw my older sister helping my mom with those tasks. Finally, my mom woke up to the fact that I was indeed old […]

Waiting on Your Mate to Change? And WW Linkup

Are you feeling like you’re tired of beating your head against a wall because your mate never changes? Does your spouse continue to deny the glaring issues that you see in his or her character and choices? Do you fear that if your mate doesn’t wake up soon your love and marriage may not survive? […]

Can I read your mind? SJT Video

Today I’m sharing a “Sloppy Joe Time” video that hits close to home because I put this sloppy expectation into action just a week or so ago. Honestly, I don’t think there will be a day when I won’t have to clean up some mess that I make in my marriage! 😉 I am a […]

Convince Your Spouse to Fight for Your Marriage

Sometimes it’s the most simple of suggestions that makes the biggest difference in life and marriage. Gary Chapman shares a bit of advice on influencing your marriage partner to reengage with you in marriage. If you are consistent with following Dr. Chapman’s wise counsel, I think you’ll find yourself and your spouse becoming more and […]

When and When NOT To Apologize – Plus WW Linkup!

Creating a confessional culture in your marriage should be developed with both discernment and timing in mind. Like most changes you want to make in life or marriage, you must go slowly and strategically, unless you are prepared for the entire effort to backfire on you! This is especially true if your spouse is not […]

Will you soothe my mood? SJT Video

Ever give yourself permission to vent with your spouse? Well, I certainly do and have! In my latest “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I share what I’m trying to get my spouse to do when I vent (yes, that means “messy manipulation” is present!). And I share the three positive strategies I’m using to turn that […]

Are You Too Familiar with Your Spouse? And WW Linkup!

There’s something that’s sadly accurate about the old saying, “familiarity breeds contempt”—especially in marriage! When you live in close proximity to another human being for any length of time, you will inevitably feel friction and irritation at some point . . . especially if your spouse is abusive or insensitive in any way. But even […]

Good Marriages Require This One Thing! And Linkup!

It’s easy for me to sit here and give you tools and insights on how to communicate better with your spouse or have healthier expectations in marriage, but not really lay a solid foundation for you at all! There was this one thing that I did years ago and, continually do even now, that has […]

The Unplugged Spouse {WW Linkup}

Today I’m so excited to have a guest post from Ugochi who blogs at Teshuva, where she writes on God’s redemption in life and marriage in ways that really resonate with what we are about here at Messy Marriage. She is continuing our discussion on striving for intimacy and oneness in marriage. I hope you’ll […]

How can I cope? SJT Video on resistance to wounds

This follow up Sloppy Joe Time video continues to address what to do when your spouse resists looking at his/her wounds. Last week’s video unpacked the first two suggestions and today’s video gives two more vital steps in the effort to “cope.” The emphasis is on creating a safe zone for your wounded spouse to […]