The Unplugged Spouse {WW Linkup}

Today I’m so excited to have a guest post from Ugochi who blogs at Teshuva, where she writes on God’s redemption in life and marriage in ways that really resonate with what we are about here at Messy Marriage. She is continuing our discussion on striving for intimacy and oneness in marriage. I hope you’ll […]

How can I cope? SJT Video on resistance to wounds

This follow up Sloppy Joe Time video continues to address what to do when your spouse resists looking at his/her wounds. Last week’s video unpacked the first two suggestions and today’s video gives two more vital steps in the effort to “cope.” The emphasis is on creating a safe zone for your wounded spouse to […]

Why are you so upset? SJT Video

Today I am continuing where I left off from my last Sloppy Joe Time video by dealing with the wounds that are often present in the conflicts of our marriages and lives. We may not see them, but in this video I give some tips for identifying them as well as what to do and […]

Does Your Spouse Need Perspective? SJT Video

Ever find yourself in the middle of a painful conversation about a past hurt with your spouse, and you don’t know why your spouse isn’t resonating with or able to receive in a gracious way how s/he has hurt you? Well, in my latest Sloppy Joe Time video, I talk about what you both need […]

Am I Your Soft Place to Fall? Video

Today, I’m sharing another video in our series of “sloppy expectations” in marriage. I explore the best way to respond to our spouses when we are confronted by how we’ve hurt them.     What thoughts typically run through your head when your spouse shares how you’ve hurt them?    What do you think could help you to look […]

How Successful is Your Reconciliation? And Link Up

There’s no easy answer to the question: What are the signs that reconciliation is not going to work? But … I would like to offer you Leslie Vernick’s three essential ingredients to a thriving relationship as a guide for assessing how well your reconciliation {particularly in marriage} is going. The first essential ingredient is … […]

How to Let Bitterness Go

Today I want to look at the difficulty of releasing any hurt or bitterness we feel due to the sins “someone we are trying to reconcile with” may continue to commit against us. I want to stress, this is for the person who has chosen to forgive an offending spouse, has emotionally and spiritually worked […]

The Support Needed to Trust Again

Reconciliation is about rebuilding trust because … Trust cannot be given like love or forgiveness. Trust must be earned. Click To Tweet And trust is earned and established through respect and compliance with healthy boundaries and new ways of relating. So the first job for the two parties is to … Determine what you should […]

A Pause to Rest and Remember

Ever since we visited that little town in Wales (Tenby), I’ve fallen in love with the sounds of the ocean. The rhythmic waves coming forward and pulling back. It reminds me of how the Holy Spirit constantly pursues me {us} and draws me {us} to Himself. It reminds me of how–if I’ll just let go […]

A Difficult Question

While I’m away on my anniversary trip to England and Wales, Linda Stoll from Creekside Ministries has graciously agreed to be our guest and host of this week’s Wedded Wednesday! If you know anything about Linda from her blog or from her visits to your blogs, you’ll know she is a true sweetheart who loves […]