How to Let Bitterness Go

Today I want to look at the difficulty of releasing any hurt or bitterness we feel due to the sins “someone we are trying to reconcile with” may continue to commit against us. I want to stress, this is for the person who has chosen to forgive an offending spouse, has emotionally and spiritually worked […]

The Support Needed to Trust Again

Reconciliation is about rebuilding trust because … [Tweet “Trust cannot be given like love or forgiveness. Trust must be earned. “] And trust is earned and established through respect and compliance with healthy boundaries and new ways of relating. So the first job for the two parties is to … Determine what you should require […]

A Pause to Rest and Remember

Ever since we visited that little town in Wales (Tenby), I’ve fallen in love with the sounds of the ocean. The rhythmic waves coming forward and pulling back. It reminds me of how the Holy Spirit constantly pursues me {us} and draws me {us} to Himself. It reminds me of how–if I’ll just let go […]

A Difficult Question

While I’m away on my anniversary trip to England and Wales, Linda Stoll from Creekside Ministries has graciously agreed to be our guest and host of this week’s Wedded Wednesday! If you know anything about Linda from her blog or from her visits to your blogs, you’ll know she is a true sweetheart who loves […]

Denial and the Monster Within

Denial very often operates like the typical plotline of a bad horror movie.  We watch as the protagonist (often a young, beautiful woman) is sitting in a peaceful corner of her empty and secluded, century-old farmhouse. Suddenly she’s startled by a noise coming from the eerie dark bedroom down the hall. Sensing danger, she gathers […]

Repeating the Past?

Like it or not, humans are creatures of habit … by harminder dhesi photography Especially when we feel our habit is not “complete.” We like to resolve things, fix things, have a “happy ending,” if you will—clinging to them, like a dog to an old bone!  That’s why we end up being drawn into marriages […]

What Are You Trying to Redo?

Ever wonder why you do the things you do? As human beings, everything we do is for a reason. Since God created us with such complexity, there may be a variety of reasons at play. But one of the important sources for all that we do is called the “Homing Instinct.” In today’s electronic world, […]

How to Develop Your Identity

Level One – “Bad”  … You feel like a “nobody”—unimportant.  Level Two – “Worse” … You feel like you don’t know who you are. Level Three – “Worst” … You want to disappear. Very often in messy marriages, one or sometimes both people feel one of these ways. I think I’ve visited all three of […]

How to Defuse Anger – Part One

When dealing with anger in a marriage—messy or not—you can take an external approach and deal with communication techniques. Or you can take an internal approach and explore thoughts and feelings in an effort to do and think about what is right or best for the relationship. Both ways are important, but today I will […]