Why Can’t I Run to My Mom? SJT Video

In today’s “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I’m talking about an unhealthy practice I had early in my marriage. I was still running to my mother’s arms, when I should’ve been running to God’s and never leaving my husband’s! Can you relate? I hope you’ll click on the video below to see what I discovered and […]

‘Broken Together’ Video

I’m going to try and scale back here in order to spend a bit more time working on several book projects I have in the works. So I will be sharing my SJT videos every other week instead of weekly. But on the weeks that I discover a video that’s worth sharing, I’ll be sharing […]

How can I cope? SJT Video on resistance to wounds

This follow up Sloppy Joe Time video continues to address what to do when your spouse resists looking at his/her wounds. Last week’s video unpacked the first two suggestions and today’s video gives two more vital steps in the effort to “cope.” The emphasis is on creating a safe zone for your wounded spouse to […]

4 Year Blogaversary, Giveaways and Linkup!

I can’t believe it’s been four years since I launched Messy Marriage way back in October of 2010. Since then, much has happened in my life and in the life of this blog, but one thing has remained constant … my personal pursuit of a surrendered heart to God. That’s because I know a surrendered […]

The Support Needed to Trust Again

Reconciliation is about rebuilding trust because … [Tweet “Trust cannot be given like love or forgiveness. Trust must be earned. “] And trust is earned and established through respect and compliance with healthy boundaries and new ways of relating. So the first job for the two parties is to … Determine what you should require […]

When Your Spouse is Depressed

Written by MM Team Member (and my hubby!) – Gary Steffaniak     If you’ve never been depressed, you cannot understand how depression feels or how hard it is to overcome. And I’m not talking about just having a bad day here and there. One friend who struggles with depression told me that when he’s […]

10 Things Going to Counseling Says about You

Back in September I asked you, our MM readers, to complete a survey that would tell me a bit more about you. One of the things the survey seemed to indicate was that the majority (89.4%) of you are currently not seeing a counselor for marriage or personal issues (which could be a good or […]

Desperate Marriage Myth #4 – Hopeless Situation

Today we’re looking at the last of the myths, Myth #4 – Some situations are hopeless and my situation is one of these. When people are in a desperate situation where positive change seems impossible or at least a distant memory, they tend to take on a victim mentality. With a victim mentality, you begin […]

10 Not-So-Helpful Things to Do for My Spouse

  Recently I wrote a post about the subject of helping my husband. You can refer to it here, if you’d like. But the idea got me to thinking … there are lots of ways I can help my husband but … There are also a lot of ways that I think I’m helping my […]

How I Help My Husband … In His View

Today we are joining “Marriage Monday” to discuss the topic of  “helping our husbands” as referenced in Gen. 2:18.  I chose to interview the one I help, my husband, Gary.  Check out what he has to say on the subject …   What do you think God means when he created me to be your […]