Are You Making Your Spouse Your savior?

I had a very messy marriage back in the day, and this was directly related to an even messier view of my identity. My lagging sense of self worth set me up for pursuing my husband as my savior, instead of pursuing my Savior as my Savior. Oh sure, I’d received Christ as my Savior […]

How Long Should I Extend Grace in Marriage? And Linkup

I ended last week’s post in the series, The Many Faces of Grace, with this question: When is it unhealthy or “enabling” to overlook an insult or sin in my spouse (or other offender)? I think the questions to consider in this kind of situation are: Is it destructive to one or more relationships? (Creating […]

What Extending Grace Looks like in Marriage – Plus Linkup

One of the things that has often confounded me is, when do I extend grace? Is it all the time? And what does grace even look like, especially in marriage? I think of grace like forgiveness—letting something go. After all, the Lord certainly has let go of the need to punish me for my sin—dying […]

4 Healing Ways to Pray for Your Marriage And Linkup

When my marriage was at its messiest, I found healing and perspective not only through God’s word, but also through prayer. If someone asked me what two items I would want to bring with me if I were stranded on a deserted island, I would probably say a “lamp” and a “phone.” But this isn’t […]

How Slowing Your Heart Transforms Your Marriage And Linkup

My life right now is as fast and busy as ever, being overloaded with a responsibility or two that I probably shouldn’t have taken on! I’m in desperate need of slowing my pace. How about you? 😉 Unfortunately, I’ve always had this tendency. In the South they have a saying about a gal like me […]

First Step to Get Your Heart Right in a Messy Marriage And Linkup

The continual mending of my messy marriage can be traced back to one foundational shift in my life that created a cascade of other important and healing choices. Ultimately this had everything to do with my heart in relation to God. So with that in mind, I’m going to begin a new series that will […]

4 Unique Ways to Pray for God’s Comfort in Marriage And Linkup

Today I’m continuing to unpack some of the ways that I pray and prayer journal that provides the comfort I long for when my marriage and/or life wounds me deeply. And though I’m talking mainly about prayer journaling, I’m also simply talking about ways to make our prayers more conducive to sensing God’s comfort in […]

How Prayer Journaling Improved My Marriage And Linkup

One of the main blessings I’ve experienced with the many prayers I’ve written out over the years is how it always brings such comfort when I’ve felt hurt in my marriage. Back in my very messy marriage years, I expected my hubby to be the main person who would comfort me—even and especially when he […]

Are You Pushing or Encouraging Your Mate Spiritually?

Most of you know that I’m a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of pushing my hubby spiritually when it seems like he’s not pursuing God with the same intensity as I am. Of course, sometimes he feels that way about me too. 😉 We all go through seasons when our spiritual […]

How to Tell if it’s Peace OR Relief You’re Pursuing FMTM

One of the most important lessons I learned in marriage was figuring out the difference between peace and relief. They seem so similar—like kissing cousins. And in some ways they are related. But I’ve discovered in my 29 years of marriage that . . . When I pursue relief without pursuing God’s peace, I’m asking […]