The Controller Love Style And FMTM Linkup

With Thanksgiving in the U.S. a day away, it seems appropriate to discuss the many shades of a Controller “love style!” We wouldn’t be able to get through a true Thanksgiving meal or celebration without the “Control Freak” in somebody rising to the surface like a tasty batch of homemade rolls  . . . minus […]

No Sex, Please – We’re Jedi! Guest Post And FMTM

Today we’re diverting from our series to introduce a once-a-month publication on the sex issues and struggles we face in marriage with a guest post from a dear blogging friend, Andrew Budek-Schmeisser. Andrew shares vulnerably with us today about the relentless challenges that his PTSD has brought upon his marriage and marriage bed. I don’t […]

Validation Brings Healing And Linkup

There’s a common thread that flows through most triggers and the wounds of our pasts. That thread can be found in the extremes. We feel extreme pain or emotion whenever we’ve been triggered. Or We go to an extreme on a continuum—into parenting mode or child/teenager mode—when we’ve been triggered. If we can remain in […]

The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take […]

Trying to unearth your spouse’s wounds? {SJT Video}

This week on Sloppy Joe Time I’m continuing the conversation about the emotional baggage we all have and how to deal with a spouse who is unwilling to “dig up” these old wounds. “Don’t you dare disturb them! They’re lying peacefully in their graves, thank you!” Unfortunately, wounds don’t simply remain confined to the depths […]

Why are you so upset? SJT Video

Today I am continuing where I left off from my last Sloppy Joe Time video by dealing with the wounds that are often present in the conflicts of our marriages and lives. We may not see them, but in this video I give some tips for identifying them as well as what to do and […]

Bringing Balance to Our Families {Linkup and Giveaway!}

I was raised in your standard, run-of-the-mill dysfunctional home. I didn’t know it at the time, but in my family of origin codependency abounded! Some people make the mistake of assuming that you can only be “codependent” if there’s an addict who is “dependent” upon drugs or alcohol in your family. But codependency happens whenever there is […]

‘Not Ever Quite Home – PTSD and Marriage’ Plus WW Link up!

Today we are honored to have Andrew Budek-Schmeisser of Blessed are the Pure of Heart as our guest to share a perspective that he’s uniquely qualified to offer. He knows first-hand the devastation that PTSD can cause in marriage, so I was thrilled when he agreed to share his wisdom and experience here with all of us […]

3 Reasons Grief is Necessary to Forgiveness

I recently wrote about how the first step in forgiving another is acknowledging the sin that’s been committed against us. You can read that post here. The second step in the forgiveness process goes deeper than acknowledging to grieving the offense. Ironically, many of us don’t really know how to grieve, nor do we understand […]

Is "Victim Turning on Victim" in your marriage?

My husband and I came into marriage with a lot of pain from our pasts. Our childhoods were far from idyllic. We grew up in families where we experienced everything from traumatic events to dysfunctional relationships and more. I’m not blaming anyone for the wounds of our pasts—simply acknowledging what our reality was. Most likely, […]