Trying to Grasp Grace

My church has been doing a series that deals with God’s redemption in the midst of brokenness. And one of the main focuses has been on forgiveness. I’ve done a lot of study and spent a lot of time trying to understand and exercise forgiveness in my life and marriage over the years. That is, […]


Written by Kimberly GreenMessy Marriage Team Member Rob Boudon December of 1999 found me in a local supermarket purchasing a significant amount of canned goods, gallons of water, boxes of powdered milk, and a significant supply of batteries. January 1st, 2000 at midnight, millions of computers all over the world would herald the apocalypse. We […]

Blaming Yourself for the Mess?

Sometimes we get hung up in a messy marriage because we blame our partner or even God, like I mentioned in my post last week, Feeling Trapped in a Loveless Marriage. But sometimes we feel we’re the one to blame for the messes in our marriage. Are you burdened down with guilt and shame for […]

10 Benefits of Truth Telling

I’ve always been an open book—even when I didn’t (and don’t) intend to be. This tendency has become something of a strategy for me over the past 15 years or so. I say “strategy” because it’s something I’ve been very intentional about as I’ve discovered the power of the truth. Of course, there was a […]


There’s a wall that is built brick by brick in marriage. It is a wall that is almost imperceptible and subtle because it rises higher and higher without much fanfare or attention. One minute you’re looking the other way and when you look back, there’s another brick obstructing your sight. How is this wall built? […]

Share Your Story Here!

Here at Messy Marriage our team tries to address all sorts of messy issues in marriage, but— believe it or not—we can’t experience ALL the problems that this world can throw at us. However, “collectively” our team has experienced quite a few! 🙂 My desire has always been for this to be a place where […]

Being Irritatingly Human

You’ve felt it.  I know. The Christmas shopping season is in full swing. Black Friday’s already a distant maniacal memory. And it feels like Cyber Monday was a thousand clicks and shopping carts ago. So if you haven’t felt that ever-familiar spirit of the season (i.e. “Bah-humbug!”) while shopping down the crowded aisles of Walmart […]


In lieu of a post from my hubster, Gary, I’m posting a video of a message he gave at our church recently. The title was “Default” and the idea is very much in keeping with the message of Messy Marriage. We all fall into default patterns that keep us from experiencing God’s empowerment to deal […]

Words that Transform Our Marriages

It’s interesting that the challenge this week on Faith Barista is to finish this sentence “In God’s Heart, I am …” … because I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about it, first of all, because I need to internalize how God feels about me. I don’t always feel “loved by […]

My Messy Messages

Today we’re linked to Chrysalis, exploring the topic of communication –  Just the other day I decided to “communicate” my displeasure with something my husband had said earlier to me, by using sarcasm to strike back at him. Honestly, I thought it would get my message across in a “funny” way. After all, everybody loves a […]