Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]

My Failures, God’s Inroads And WW Linkup!

I’ve been studying in 1st Samuel and God has been bringing to my attention all the times that people either wrongly let pride overtake them or rightly let humility be their response to circumstances. I honestly think God brings to our attention the very things we need! #Ineedhumility Click To Tweet In fact, humility is […]

Giving Up on Your Marriage?

I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more […]

The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take […]

‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on […]

Feel like a Victim in Marriage?

I’m back from a much-needed vacation to continue the series on how our spouses can control us. Today’s focus is about feeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage. Sometimes people who are in a hurtful marriage for a very long time and have tried to combat the issues for as long as they’ve been […]

3 Steps to Avoid a Parenting Power Struggle

It’s easy to think that when your spouse does something that bugs you and you react, that you are making a conscious choice born out of your freewill to resist. But more times than not, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse’s actions or words. Today I want to continue the series […]

5 Ways Your Spouse Can Control You

I’m beginning a new series on Sundays that will unpack five ways that we are prone to let our spouses control us. FYI … I’ll still be posting videos on upcoming Sundays, just not as often.  If you’ve been married for any length of time, it is so easy to fall into these five unhealthy […]

10 Things You Won’t See Me Post on Facebook

The holidays can be a really depressing time for many people and hard on many marriages. Not only are issues related to grief heightened at holiday times, but the stress and expectations level is usually higher than any other time of year. But what I think makes matters worse is the impact of Facebook. Don’t […]

Waiting on Your Mate to Change? And WW Linkup

Are you feeling like you’re tired of beating your head against a wall because your mate never changes? Does your spouse continue to deny the glaring issues that you see in his or her character and choices? Do you fear that if your mate doesn’t wake up soon your love and marriage may not survive? […]