Desperate Marriage Myth #3 – Only Have 2 Options

The third myth in our Desperate Marriages series is – I have only two options, resigning myself to a life of misery or getting out of the marriage. This myth hangs on the coattails of last week’s post, Desperate Marriage Myth #2, People Cannot Change. Since you’ve determined that you and/or your spouse cannot change, […]

5 Ways Remorse Can Set You Free!

  In the U.S. we’re all gearing up to celebrate the 4th of July, our nation’s Independence Day. But there’s another type of freedom you may need to pursue and claim. Do you: Struggle to let go of the regrets you have regarding past “messes” you’ve made? Continually feel responsible for the pain and consequences […]

Are You the Good Spouse?

You make sure to refrain from losing your cool in any and every argument …You pray about every decision and stay close to God …You maintain a forgiving spirit with your spouse …You do all the “right things” in life and marriage …You take responsibility when and where it’s needed …You avoid complaining and keep […]

When Your Spouse is "The Problem"

Years ago I had this blind-spot in my life. I felt like I had no control over the pain I was experiencing—especially at the hands of my husband. I felt like a helpless victim tied to the proverbial train tracks while my husband was the locomotive, barreling down the tracks and aiming right at me! […]

The Anatomy of Bitterness

I took an Anatomy class in college. BIG.MIS.TAKE First of all, with the help of my lab partner, I had to skin a cat. Ewww! Then I had to familiarize myself so thoroughly with every in and out (organs, bones, muscles, nerves) of that sad cat that I had formaldehyde-filled dreams at night! But what […]

Unhealthy Alliances – Triangulating

One of my father’s well-worn Bibles and a “red pencil.” When I was growing up, my father was a workaholic pastor. When he wasn’t visiting people (he once had a goal of visiting 80 families a week), he was busy studying his Bible—hours on end and always with his red pencil. Now, both of those […]

Unhealthy Alliances – The Protector Parent

Just like the popular reality show, sometimes there are alliances that form in marriage. In the weeks and months to come, I will be exploring some of the more popular types of alliances that form in marriage. As you might guess, the alliances I’m going to discuss are not healthy for a marriage and typically […]

Stuck in a Rut?

  If your marriage is like mine, you sometimes get stuck in a rut. Things may go along fairly smoothly for months or even years, but then you hit a pothole and get stuck. When you’re in that rut, it might seem like you’re constantly irritated with each other—or irritated with life, but you take […]

One Marriage Attitude that Really Stinks!

Some marriage messes are like the stinky “land-mines” that litter my backyard. Of course, right now with the 12 inches of snow we got hit with a couple of weeks ago, there’s still plenty of snow remaining to showcase our dog’s “messes” in our backyard.  (And unfortunately, we’re getting dumped on again—by ice and snow, […]

Are You Accepting or Tolerating Your Spouse?

There’s a catch-22 in my life. I want to be patient and tolerant of my husband. Sounds all well and good, right? But if you think about it, the word “tolerant” tells you a little bit about where I’m going with this post. I’m sure my husband doesn’t really want to be “tolerated”—no matter how […]