24 Ways to Show and Grow in Grace in Your Life and Marriage

Recently I’ve been sharing about my one word for 2018—“grace!” But sharing about it versus living it out is so much easier to say than do. That’s why I really want to nail it down biblically, so that I increase my tendency to be gracious in every circumstance—including and especially in my marriage. My hope […]

Giving Grace When it’s Hard and Goes Unnoticed

One of the hardest challenges of living out grace in my marriage has and continues to be extending grace (my “one word”) when it has gone unnoticed or does not get returned. I think that’s because positives can easily go under the radar for most everyone—especially and including by me! 😉 The negatives, the bad […]

2 Important Ways to Love the ‘Turkey’ at Your Table

I don’t know about you, but I’ve both loved and hated the family gatherings that come with Thanksgiving or other holiday celebrations. Typically, this is because of the work that leaves me and so many others I love stressed. But sometimes the stress come from awkward and friction-filled, even resentment-laden, relationships that we have with […]

5 ‘Little Foxes’ that Damage a Marriage by Kelly R. Baker

Have you heard of the allegorical foxes that spoil the vine? My mother used to quote Song of Songs 2:15 to my brother and me growing up, as part of teaching us how to treat people. She continued to remind me of this verse when my husband Justin and I started butting heads early on […]

First Step to Confront with Grace – And Linkup

Last week I introduced the idea that “grace” is not only shown when we overlook an offense, or even when we hold our tongue and patiently pray for God to convict the other party, but it’s also shown when we confront our offender. But how can that be considered “grace”—to confront someone? Doesn’t that sound […]

Simple Date Idea #7 – Gratitude Walk

My husband and I have discovered that often one of the first “honeymoon phase” practices to go is expressing gratitude to each other. That means it’s often a distant image in the rearview mirror for most couples who’ve been married for any length of time. But oh how it improves the atmosphere and culture of […]

Staying Together When Stress Pulls You Apart

Today we’re back with a video where my husband Gary and I discuss a reader’s question about the challenge of staying together when stress threatens to pull you apart. In our video, we share fourteen different principles and steps that we try to practice whenever the tensions in our lives begin to divide us. Click […]

4 Unique Ways to Pray for God’s Comfort in Marriage And Linkup

Today I’m continuing to unpack some of the ways that I pray and prayer journal that provides the comfort I long for when my marriage and/or life wounds me deeply. And though I’m talking mainly about prayer journaling, I’m also simply talking about ways to make our prayers more conducive to sensing God’s comfort in […]

Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless […]