Why I’m an ‘Avoider’ in My Marriage and FMTM

I’m what’s referred to as an “Avoider” in my “love-style.” I’ve also got a dash of “Vacillator” and a pinch of “Pleaser” in me as well. Even though it might sound like it, I’m not talking about a tasty autumn soup. 😉 What I’m referring to are some of the “love-styles” that are developed from“imprints” […]

How My Hubby Was There for Me in My Pain And FMTM

Today I want to share a post that brags just a bit about my husband—pointing out how he recently was there for me in my pain. To understand the significance of this lesson he’s learned in our marriage, you have to know where he’s come from in comparison to where he is now. Years ago, […]

3 Ways I’m Dealing with an Empty-Nest

I’m walking over an incredibly monumental transition or “threshold” in my life—that of being a full-fledged Empty Nester. Since that’s the case, I’ve felt like it might be good to do a series on the many “thresholds” we all go through in marriage and life. I will be alternating these posts with my videos that […]

Encourage Conversation with Disengaged Spouse FMTM

Even though my hubby’s more of an extrovert than I am, he still struggles to fully engage in a deep conversation with me. That’s because it’s easy for an extrovert to remain on the surface. Oh sure, they love to talk! They’re ever scanning a crowd for an opportunity to strike up a conversation, especially […]

Dealing with Emotional Blockage of PTSD in Marriage

Today I’m back behind the camera, picking up where Gary, my husband, and I left off last spring when we were answering some of the questions posed to us here at Messy Marriage, including one on PTSD. When a spouse suffers from PTSD due to combat or past traumas, it can cause extreme emotional fallout […]

Discussing Sticky Issues with Your Mate Without Getting Stuck

If you’re like me, you’ve often let your mouth fly wide open to reveal the manipulative and prideful intentions behind an effort “to discuss” a sticky issue. Ugh! You’re thinking that your words will bring clarity and understanding for your mate (cue the sound of angels singing from heaven). But all you really offered your […]

Is Your Love for Your Mate Failing?

Persevering in life and in certain painful seasons of marriage can feel so very overwhelming and discouraging, especially when the pain lingers for an extended time. We can feel helpless and confused about what to do next. Even worse we can feel like we have nothing left to give, nor want to give—perhaps because we […]

What I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup

Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house. But it was a doozy of a misunderstanding on both our parts. I won’t go into all […]

How Grief and Humility Sets You Free And WW Linkup

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make […]

Coming Out as a Christian to Your Unbelieving Spouse

I’m excited to have yet another edition of “Picking Hubby’s Brain” as we endeavor to answer one of the many questions we’ve been given from you our readers/viewers on how to navigate challenges in marriage. This husband’s question deals with “change” and in particular dealing with a drastic change in marriage, moving from atheism to […]