What Types of Risks are You Taking?

The "Tube" zooming by!

The “Tube” zooming by!

On my trip to the UK, there were so many “God moments”—moments when I knew that God was busy at work doing things like only He can do! One of those moments was when my husband and I were on the Tube (The underground subway system in London). BTW, we became quite skilled in reading the Tube map and finding our way around by that third day in London! Just sayin’!

Blk Bag1editBack to my story: I carried my AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors) bag with me to help carry the souvenirs we collected each day. On the bag are several mentions of Christian counseling organizations in various forms. That was what caught the eye of another Tube passenger from London …

So this guy struck up a conversation with me to find out why I would have that kind of bag. When I told him I was a counselor/life-coach and that I had a marriage blog he should check out, he said, “Well, it’s probably from a Christian point of view, right?” He said this like it was “THE place” to sign up for the Bubonic Plague!

He went on to challenge me to a friendly debate about how “they (whoever ‘they’ are) should come up with an alternative to marriage because it’s just too risky and hard to stay faithful for your entire life.”

I told him, “All of life is risky.”

I don’t think I said this next quote exactly word for word, but this was the gist of what I went on to say (and think), 

You can spend your life risking in relationships that bring sensual pleasure for a short time and hop on to another risky relationship till that one runs out of euphoria and so on. Or you can risk really giving yourself to one person for all of your life—working through the challenges that come, but trusting that working through those hard times with God’s help are what forge and bond you to your mate like no other uncommitted relationship can.”  

I don’t think I convinced him. But I sensed underneath his “devils advocate” exterior, he had either …

a) been hurt and did not want to spend his life committed to one person who could potentially bruise and batter his heart over and over again.

Or

b) felt that a relationship was like a box of Milk-duds, only good for a moment and when the deliciousness was completely devoured, chuck it in the trash (or “rubbish” – British speak!) and search for another shot of dopamine—maybe this time in the form of a “Bit-O-Honey,” etc.

It’s easy even in marriage to come to conclusion “a” whenever your spouse hurts you over and over and you don’t think you can take one more day of the abuse.

It’s easy to also come to conclusion “b” when your heart hungers for more than your spouse can realistically provide you.

If you find yourself focusing on either of those thoughts in marriage or life, then don’t forget one thing …

 Jesus!

 

He’s the One who can come into our battered and broken hearts and heals the cracks with His amazing grace.

He’s the One who can satisfy our longings like no other human can!

Take the risk of giving your heart and broken marriage to Him today. Now, that’s a risk I know you won’t regret!

 

When have you felt the way this guy on the “Tube” felt and what helped you overcome those feelings?

 

What hardships and tests have you seen God use in your life/marriage to deepen, enrich and bond you to your mate like nothing else?

 

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Linking up with – NOBH, Momma Notes, Marriage MondaysMaking Your Home Sing Monday, Living Proverbs 31, Playdates with God and Marriage Monday

 

  • Don’t you love those divine appointments, God bringing exactly who He wants us to dialogue with right onto our paths? I love how you represented yourself, your work, your faith, Beth. You’ll never know the impact your conversation made in this fellow sojourner’s mind and heart! Or maybe, someday …?

    • Yes, I do love those moments, Linda and we had many of them throughout our time in the UK. That was one of the amazing treasures I enjoyed from that trip–God making a way for us all throughout! Thanks for your kind words to me, sweet friend. And like you, I’m hoping my conversation sparks a deeper and persistent hunger for God in the Londoner.

  • I totally agree Beth, marriage is a risk like all of life is, but the risk is guaranteed if in partnership with Jesus. I have a written post on The risks of marriage.
    I am glad I have a witness!
    Have a super blessed day!
    Love

    • Yes, Ugochi, I don’t know how people make it in a life-long marriage without Christ to help them through all the pain and difficulty life and marriage brings. Thanks for stopping by and encouraging me, my friend!

  • Glad you were able to have many God-moments in the UK! You look so lovely in the picture. I’m proud of you for figuring out the Tube in only 3 days. A week in New York I never mastered their subway system. ha.

    You had such a great answer to this passenger. All of life is risky but we measure our risks and make the best choices we can. Jesus is the only thing that makes us truly safe.

    • Ha! I’m proud of myself too for figuring it out, Lisa! I should say it was more of a team effort because there were times when my husband figured out a certain route and other times when I figured one out and lots of times when we helped correct each other’s wrong directions. I have to add, many Londoner’s were more than happy to help us when we were both confused. Our experience was that London was a friendly city overall. Thanks for your kind words too, Lisa. I’m so glad we see eye-to-eye on who helps us with those constant risks … Jesus!

  • Wow Beth, great post. You know you are right all of life is risky. Hopping around from relationship to relationship is also risky – maybe the riskier of the two choices in my opinion, and I say that well aware that marriage is difficult!

    • Yes, I think it probably is the riskier choice, even though it seems like the less risky and easier path, Jamie. That’s what’s so insidious about this line of thought and it’s scary how pervasive this thinking is becoming in, not just European society, but American as well. Thanks so much for stopping by and encouraging me!

  • Mia

    Dear Beth
    I think that people too often look to their spouses for the love only our Lord Jesus can give us and then become frustrated with marriage. That is a recipe for disaster and perhaps that is why so many unbelievers are totally skeptical about marriage. I know that I did that for a long time and it just never works.
    Blessings XX
    Mia

    • Oh yes, Mia! I so resonate with your statement. We’re all just looking for what only our dear Savior can provide for us. Thanks so much for your constant support and encouragement here, my friend!

  • Nannette Elkins

    Love those God-moments, those “coincidences” and Divine Appointments that He has planned for us!! Thanks for sharing this one, so sad that your friend on the Tube didn’t want to see it. He is missing so much! Blessings!

    • Yes, he really is, but I’m praying for him and hoping the Holy Spirit works overtime on his wounded and calloused heart. Thanks so much for stopping by and encouraging me, Candace Jo. And I love that we were thinking along the same lines the other day. 🙂

  • Good words, Beth. And may that man’s heart heal by the power of the Love of Christ. I pray that his brief interaction with you will get him thinking and heading over to your blog…and eventually the Bible. Thanks for speaking His words to a heart in need…

    • Yes, that’s my prayer too, Sheila. Who knows what God might do with this man and my conversation with him. I don’t put anything past our great God and Redeemer! Thanks to you, sweet friend, for being a continual encourager to me here. 🙂

  • Nancy Sturm

    Thank you for speaking out in faith, Beth. May God touch that man’s heart. Thank you also for all the helps you give to those of us who chose to marry. It seems marriage itself is in danger, not just in this country. We need more people like you who are willing to help with our “messy” marriages! 🙂 Thanks!

  • Wow, Beth. What a terrific response. In sales, we are taught that when a customer objects to something, they are asking us to show us a way over or through that objection. The theory is that they want that item, but need to know their concern is addressed.

    I agree with your assessment of what might be going on. I would also add that i think on a deeper level he would like to be committed, and just doesn’t see how to get there and stay there.