"When Sinners Say I Do" Book Review and WW Link-up

I’m always on the lookout for a good Christian marriage book and I think I’ve found one in Dave Harvey’s, When Sinners Say I Do. I feel like Harvey’s book reflects so much of the heartbeat here at Messy Marriage—the beauty of God’s redemption in our lives and marriages when we yield to His purposes and ways.

Harvey begins by laying a foundation for healing and hope in marriage with the truth of the Bible. I really appreciated how he fleshed out the issues and complications that our sin nature brings to the difficulties of marriage. I don’t think I’d ever thought so deeply about this reality, nor had I seen it so completely described through the biblical lens that Harvey holds up for us.

The truths that he unfolds in this great book brought about a shift in my perspective that has enhanced my ability to …

  • Recognize my sins and failures more clearly and readily.
  • Love and accept my husband without reserve.
  • Understand and offer forgiveness more completely.
  • Understand more fully God’s purposes for marriage, as well as, pain in marriage and life.
  • Embrace the brokenness and death of this life that ultimately ushers in our hope-filled eternity.

Here is a small sampling of some of my favorite quotes:

“The cross makes a stunning statement about husbands and wives: we are sinners and our only hope is grace.”

“Once I know that I am indeed the worse of sinners, then my spouse is no longer my biggest problem: I am.”

Today I have five When Sinners Say I Do e-books that I want to give-away. All you have to do is comment and you’ll be entered to win one. If you don’t have a Kindle or e-reader, no problem! You can find out how to download a Kindle app at this link: Amazon’s free Kindle app. The deadline for entering this giveaway is Saturday, March 2nd at 9 a.m. I’ll announce the winners on Saturday afternoon, so check back by!

Thanks again for coming by, especially if you’re linking-up to our Wedded Wednesday Blog-hop! It’s good to have you here!

Hey Messy Marriage Fans – My post “10 Not-So-Helpful Things to Do for My Spouse” is being featured at Sheila Wray Gregoire’s blog – To Love Honor and Vacuum today. We hope you can check it out too!



Joining with NOBH, Works for Me Wednesday and To Love Honor and Vacuum

WW rules:

  1. Write in any way you feel inspired about marriage or parenthood.
  2. Be sure to include a link to Wedded Wednesday or copy and paste the WW button (it’s hyperlinked, so no need for code) to your blog.
  3. Visit and comment on at least one other person’s blog that’s linked up here.

Optional but encouraged:

  • Consider setting up your Gravatar profile and Disqus Profile with a link to your blog … it makes it so much easier for all of us to find those of you who blog!
  • If you have the time, visit those who visit your blog and comment at their place as well … sort of a “Say it forward.”     


  1. bluecottonmemory says:

    Forgiveness, not high-horse forgiveness but humble forgiveness is such an important part of marriage. Being honest about my gracelessness helps that! What a good book, Beth!

  2. The Wanna Be says:

    Thanks for sharing. Looks like a great book to add to my “must read” list.

  3. Hey Beth

    First up, I think i just linked twice! The link didn’t show up on my end the first time, so i linked up again. Sorry about that. you can delete my second link – # 7 – it’s the same post .

    I’ve heard so much about this book and it’s in my to-buy and read list! I love this quote “Once I know that I am indeed the worse of sinners, then my spouse is no longer my biggest problem: I am.” Word! What a revelation. Now to live by that revelation…:)

    Great post today on Sheila’s blog!

  4. Auntie Em@Auntie Ems Guide to says:

    Thanks for the new link-up, Beth and a big CONGRATULATIONS for being featured on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum!!!

  5. Saw your post on Sheila’s blog! Nice! I already have a copy of the book so don’t enter me in the giveaway, but I also loved the book. One thing I thought was that it was a great general marriage book for husbands. Many marriage books appeal more to women, but the author struck me as a “man’s man” with all the masculine analogies (war, cars, etc). If there’s a husband who’s reluctant to read a marriage book (which many are), I think this would be a great one to recommend.

  6. I’ve been struggling with some persistent issues in our marriage, and realizing more and more that I should be working on me, instead of looking at my husband to change. So I would like the encouraging book! And with this being an e-book, it means postage to the Netherlands isn’t an issue 🙂

  7. This book is on my to-read list! So glad to hear you say good things about it. Thanks for sharing!

  8. Very exciting that you’re being featured on Sheila’s blog today, Beth! I hope it helps spread the word about the excellent ministry you have here at Messy Marriage. And yep, definitely the biggest problem in my marriage is me. That’s a thought to pocket for sure.

  9. I would read just about anything you suggested, just about 😉 Love your post as always!

  10. Megan@DoNotDisturb says:

    sounds like a good read. I am always on the look-out for good books.


  11. Sounds awesome! 🙂

  12. pamelagail says:

    I’m glad you had a guest post on Sheila’s blog so I could find your blog. This sounds like a very good book. I just finished reading What Did You Expect?Redeeming the Realities of Marriage by Paul David Tripp and the subject is the same. Most of the problems in our marriages are the result of our sin natures.

  13. tettelestai says:

    That sounds like a wonderful book!! It is so easy for us to point out and focus on our spouse’s wrong while completely ignoring the plank in our own eyes.

  14. Thank you for being on Sheila’s blog today. Looking forward to following you & being blessed by your words of wisdom.

  15. I am trusting I hit a gold mine with this blog, thank you. Sounds like a great book to get into my heart! Blessings!

  16. OutnumberedMom says:

    Sign me up, Beth! This book looks great. I’m going to recommend it to my pastor son, too — he does quite a bit of marriage counseling, and it sounds like a lot of the things I’ve heard him say.
    And as always, thanks for your encouraging visit at my place!

  17. When Sinners Say I Do is indeed a wonderful book! I hope your giveaway of it results in improved relationships.

  18. Great giveaway – great blog too! : )

  19. Christina Murphy says:

    I am visiting as a subscriber to “To Love, Honour and Vacuum” I am going to subscribe to your blog and give it a try. Thank you for blogging on Christ centered marriage! God bless you!

  20. I just started reading this book and I must say I do like it so far but my stubborn, selfish self struggled with the 1st two chapters about “MY sin problem”. It is a hard one to swallow and I believe it is because there is SO much truth to it.

  21. I am about halfway through this terrific book…and it gets better and better the further I am reading. Marriage is ultimately, about God. Love that.

  22. Yes, forgiveness is often so elusive and misunderstood, so this book gives a greater understanding and foundation to that–straight from God’s Word. Thanks so much for linking up and commenting, friend!

  23. Yes, it’s a great read. I read it a couple of months ago and it’s still impacting my thoughts and actions. 🙂

  24. No problem, Ngina. I was having problems with the link yesterday. Hopefully it was a one time thing!

    Yes, it’s a must-read for anyone who’s a Christian blogger on marriage. I hope you’re in the winning 5!

  25. Thanks for your kind words, Auntie Em. It was an honor and so happy to have you linking up here too. Hope to see you around WW every week from now on, my friend! Love your blog!

  26. Thanks, Elizabeth. I’m grateful for the opportunity Sheila graciously gave me.

    That’s a really good point–about being man-friendly. I didn’t think about that until you said it, but “yes” it really brings that home for the man and helps the woman to see things from his perspective as well. Thanks for saying and for linking up, my friend!

  27. Yep, no postage! Yay! I’m so glad you could be included in the potential opportunity, Marit. I’m probably going to mostly give away ebooks–that being one important reason. Thanks also for coming by and sharing so openly. You’ve got my prayers, my friend!

  28. Yes, it’s a great read. And thanks so much, Kathryn, for coming by, commenting and linking up! It’s much appreciated!

  29. That’s my hope too, Becky. I’m grateful for what God is doing in my life and in the life of this blog.

    As far as the biggest problem–you and me both! It really helped to deepen my perspective in this area. Thanks so much for your support and linking up, my friend!

  30. That’s sweet, Andrea. You know I would never knowingly steer you wrong! Love ya and thanks for coming by and commenting. Maybe you’ll be a big winner too–but then you’re always a winner in my book! 😉

  31. Yes, it’s great and thanks so much, Megan, for coming by, commenting and linking up. I love having high quality marriage blogs joining with me here! Hugs to you!

  32. It is and thanks so much for coming by and linking up, Lilah. I appreciate your support!

  33. Oooh, I want to read that! Maybe that will be my next on my list to read, Pam. Thanks so much for your kind words. You’ve encouraged me today!

  34. Unfortunately, that’s so true. But this book helps you to know how to pull that plank out. Very practical and insightful! Thanks for coming by and commenting!

  35. And I’m looking forward to you coming around, Penny. Thanks for checking MM out and I hope we truly can be a blessing to you in the present and future!

  36. Yes, that’s a good way to put it–get it into our hearts. When we do that, God can do miraculous things with our marriages, Heather. Thanks so much for your sweet words. I really appreciate it!

  37. Oh yeah, it would be a great resource to him as well. Thanks so much for your sweet support and friendship around here, Laura Lee. Thanks for linking up too!

  38. Yes, if anyone truly takes the time to read it and embrace the truth he lays out, I’m certain their marriages will be blessed. Thanks so much for coming by and saying “hi,” Ben. Looking forward to getting to know you through your blog as well. Thanks for linking up!

  39. Thanks so much, Mercy. I love giving away good resources! And thanks for the kind words as well, my friend!

  40. I hope that you are blessed by what we write about here. My heart certainly wants to be used by God to help strengthen marriages, Christina. Thanks for your encouragement and support!

  41. Yes, if you’ve been wounded deeply by someone, it is often VERY hard to lower that defense and look at your own sin. But God is good to walk you through that gently. I’m so glad you are willing to continue to walk with Him in this area, Becky. You have my prayers, my friend!

  42. I’m so glad you’re finding it to be so helpful, Pam. And thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me here! Love ya!

  43. Beth, I just realized that I picked up the book a few weeks ago on amazon! Tells you how many books are lined up on my reading list! I totally forgot about it and just saw it today.. 🙂 Just thought to mention so you can leave out my name 🙂