Why are you so upset? SJT Video

Wounds that Lurk

Today I am continuing where I left off from my last Sloppy Joe Time video by dealing with the wounds that are often present in the conflicts of our marriages and lives. We may not see them, but in this video I give some tips for identifying them as well as what to do and not do when they emerge from the murky waters. Click on the video below to view my latest – “Why are you so upset?”

 

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If you’d like to view the video a little larger over at Messy Marriage’s Youtube channel or view some of the other Sloppy Joe Time videos, click here.


 

Linking up with – Marriage Mondays,  Making Your Home Sing,  Unforced Rhythms,  Sunday Stillness,  Sharing His Beauty  and  Playdates with God

  • Beth … you’ll be glad to know that I pulled Tim to me in a headlock {I mean a hug!!} this afternoon and we listened to your wise words together. I was really happy that he joined this weekly messy marriage visit. It’s become a highlight of my Sunday afternoons!
    Your words about not fixing the other were just so spot on … especially to those of us in the people helping professions. Too often we think that our family is just waiting with baited breath for our next pearls of wisdom … and then we’re surprised when they roll their eyes and head in the other direction.
    ;-}
    And your running commentary printed along the bottom of the screen? Icing on the cake, friend. Yummy …

    • That’s great, Linda! I’m glad you’re making it a family affair. I’ve thought of pulling Gary into a SJT video at some point, so we could actually have a Sunday afternoon cyber double date with you two! 😉 And yes, you’re so right about the tendency to try and fix our spouses when we are in the helping profession. The only problem is when we, helpers, try to help our spouses, we end up meddling instead of helping! Thanks also for the encouraging words about my running commentary. That part has been an exercise in creativity each week–that’s truly a fun but often challenging process. I’m glad you found it “yummy!” Hugs to you both, my friends!

      • Would be cool to have Gary jump in here and there. A photo bomb kinda thing!
        ;-}

    • I agree with Linda, Beth. The wonderfully creative and hilarious captions just make my day every time I tune in to hear one of your wise, sage insights. Keep up the creative and God honoring work. Love it! And I want that coffee cup! 😉

      • Thanks so much, Nicki! I truly appreciate the encouragement and I’m glad that at least there are a select few who get my weird humor! 😉 Hugs sweet girlfriend!

  • Mary Flaherty

    I’m so grateful that my husband and I both had counseling before we met, and that we continued couples counseling for quite awhile, in order to recognize things like this. But of course, that was several years ago, and don’t we love to just fall back into our patterns? Yesterday, I was trying to book airfare online, and getting frustrated because it kept telling me to fill in these fields that I couldn’t even find. I hadn’t slept much the night before, so I was tired, and I was hungry. AND I hate technology! So, put all those things together and you have a volcanic eruption! So, instead of simply asking him to take over, I waited for him to say, “Would you like me to do it?” FINALLY, he did and I said, “YES!” But he didn’t do it the way I wanted him to. He never chose our seats, which was very important to me. So he got upset and I said, “Do you want me to do it?” And he answered his typical, “If you don’t mind.” I replied, “Well, yes, I DO mind!” We finally agreed to go get something to eat, and I have yet to book the flight. This sounds quite comical reading it over the next day…what does it have to do with wounds? I don’t know, but I thought I’d share it. Perhaps it was an attempt to “fix” each other…instead of just asking him, I wanted him to lovingly offer, but I also wanted him to do it MY way. That’s a lose/lose situation!

    • You were “hangry,” Mary! Nothin’ worse than hangry (hungry/angry) moments that cloud our better judgment in the heat of the moment! Of course, I do think it sounds like there might be a wound in the mix for you. Maybe you had a parent who either didn’t take care of you very well or didn’t take care of your other parent and you internalized that rejection. Might that sound familiar? And wounds often act like sneaky little gremlins that pop up in the most inopportune moments! I’m glad you’re as self-aware as you are of your tendencies, Mary. That will help you as you navigate the messiness of marriage. 🙂

  • I’m not married yet, but I appreciate this video. Why are we so upset really? 🙂

    • I don’t know what wounds are making you upset, Lux. So if you’re confused about it, pray daily and ask God to reveal these areas to you. Reading God’s word will also help you to recognize more about your own heart. My prayers are with you!