I’m excited and honored to have The Money Couple, Scott and Bethany Palmer, as my guests—bringing their financial expertise to my most recent blog series. I hope you’ll make them feel welcome by commenting, sharing and pinning all over the place! Check out their bio below!
Do you and your spouse ever disagree about money?
If you don’t, consider yourself lucky and rare. 😉
Most couples struggle to agree on decisions about money, and the worst part … we make decisions about money every single day. So your odds of locking horns and making messy financial mistakes are almost guaranteed.
Christian couples are not immune to the tension and fights about money. God knew his people would struggle with money. That must be why there are over 2,300 verses in the bible about money and greed.
[bctt tweet=”Money is messy. And if we are honest, marriages struggle with it. In fact, current research shows money is the #1 reason for divorce. Click over to see what The Money Couple says can make it less messy.” username=””]
But money frustration doesn’t need to go that far. Our marriages are priceless and not worth destroying over dollars and cents. Ruining your marriage is the most costly financial mistake you can make.
Money fights are a bit like the flu. Everyone wants to avoid it, but you have to take steps now to avoid it later.
Here are 5 financial mistakes to avoid for a healthy … and wealthy marriage:
1. Misunderstanding and not respecting your personal (or your spouse’s) unique money DNA.
Each one of us has a unique approach to money. We believe this approach is hardwired into each person at a young age. And because of that, it’s not going to change anytime soon. No amount of nagging or wishing or begging will change how your spouse is wired to “see” money. And no amount of “training” will completely remove your natural tendencies or approach. We call that approach, your Money Personality.
[bctt tweet=”Every person has a Primary and a Secondary Money Personality. One that drives the majority of your financial decisions and then another one that certainly shouts from the back of the bus often enough to keep life interesting. @themoneycouple” username=””]
We offer a free, online assessment to help individuals clearly identify their Primary and Secondary Money Personalities at TheMoneyCouple.com.
Start by learning more about yourself or your spouse.
2. Thinking your spouse is wrong because they approach money differently.
Another common money mistake is to conclude that your spouse’s approach to money is wrong. Period. If you like to spend and they like to save, they’re just plain wrong. Right? Uh, no.
God made you (and your spouse) like He did on purpose and perfectly.
Their behavior may frustrate you because your mind just does not think that way, AND their behavior may have even led you down a path of some financial derailments. We get that! You need your train on the rails, for sure, but disrespecting your mate’s natural approach to money is not a way to do it.
Your spouse’s approach to money is as natural and God-given as their height and eye color. No amount of shaming or silent treatments will change it.
3. Failure to discuss and anticipate some issues associated with each Money Personality.
Now that you are starting to see that your spouse’s approach to money isn’t wrong, it’s easier to take a deep breath and to begin talking about your differences.
Don’t make the mistake of not talking about money.
A recent survey by Fidelity highlighted how infrequently married couples talk about money. 43% of respondents don’t know how much their partner earns, and 36% were unaware of the amount they have invested.
It may not be exciting (and at first it might even be unpleasant), but remember the flu? You don’t want to get it and you don’t want to avoid discussing money.
You don’t have to get down into the boring details right off the bat. Discuss your Money Personalities, your strengths and weaknesses. Share your hopes and dreams for your hard-earned money. How would you like to spend retirement? Are you going to pay for your kids’ college?
Talk about money. Healthier, wealthier relationships do.
4. Lack of honest communication about money.
This may go without saying, but we’re going to say it anyway because we’ve seen the statistics.
Be honest about your money.
In a recent survey, one in three Americans (31%) admitted lying to their spouses about money, and another one-third of these adults said they’d been deceived. The online poll of 2,000+ U.S. adults was commissioned by Forbes Woman and the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE).
The leading acts of dishonesty respondents mentioned were hiding cash, minor purchases, and other bills. And a significant number of people admitted hiding major purchases, keeping secret bank accounts, and lying about their debt or earnings.
Hiding money. Overspending money. Both are dishonest behaviors and need to stop. You will be found out. They always are. Come clean now.
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. John 3:21 (NIV)
Don’t delay: Confess your sin to your Creator and your spouse. Lying about money is still lying.
5. Prioritizing money over your relationship.
The fifth and final mistake you can make with your money is to prioritize it over your relationship.
There is no amount of money worth more than your spouse or your covenant with your spouse.
Your relationship is priceless. It needs honesty, care, love, and kindness to grow and thrive. You want to enjoy each day together and a healthy, wealthy future. Start building that foundation today by prioritizing your relationship over money.
Don’t let money and misinformation and assumptions get the better of your relationship.
[bctt tweet=”Fighting about money is one of the worst financial mistakes you can make. That doesn’t mean every day is an easy day, but every day can be an understanding day when you work together. @themoneycouple #lessonslearnedinmarriage” username=””]
Two rowers in a boat always beat the solo rower in a race. Work together for a better today and tomorrow.
Make it happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer – The Money Couple
Scott & Bethany Palmer, The Money Couple, are love & money experts, authors, speakers, each have 20 years of financial advising experience. Together, they help couples solve money issues in their relationships. Grab a copy of “The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language,” and take the FREE online Money Personality Assessment. Follow them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
What are some of the differences in how you and your mate deal with money?
Which of the five mistakes has been the most costly to your marriage?
Interested in a Christmas-themed Facebook Bible study of the first two chapters of Luke? Then have I got you covered with a study unwrapping the events leading up to Christ’s birth—helping to prepare your heart for Christmas! If you’d like to join this study that begins Nov. 5th, 2018, please click here. Hope to see you there!
If you’re interested in reading more posts in this series, click the link to see them all – Lessons Learned in Marriage. The graphic below reveals each blogger who is participating. Next week, Lisa Burgess is my guest with her post, “Are You Different Enough? 5 Ways to Use Differences in Your Relationship.” Who knew that differences in marriage could be used to our advantage?! Find out how next week!
Here are some lovely linkups I join – Inspire Me Monday, Literary Musing Mondays, Tea and Word Tuesday, Purposeful Faith, Tell His Story, Recharge Wednesday, Porch Stories Linkup, Break Through Homeschooling Linkup, Coffee for Your Heart, Worth Beyond Rubies Wednesday, Encouraging Word Wednesday, Sitting Among Friends, Destination Inspiration, Grace Moments Linkup, Imparting Grace, Tune in Thursday, Heart Encouragement, Moments of Hope, Grace and Truth, Faith and Friends, Blogger Voices Network, Faith on Fire Friday, Fresh Market Friday, and DanceWithJesusFriday
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